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  #41  
Old 08-23-2013, 04:03 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Originally Posted by idealist View Post
Itís the yen and the yang. The diamond looks ever so much beautiful against the black cloth.

This physical existence is held together by the polarities. Canít have one without the other. So again- why judge?
I am sure that people who can make sense of this kind of post got a lot out of it. To me, this just sounds like dial tone so I'm going to just nod my head and step away from it.

Sorry if I helped hijack this thread.
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  #42  
Old 08-23-2013, 09:44 AM
london london is offline
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When you have been taught that you are not worth committing to, or honouring the agreements one has made with you, or fulfilling the role that one benefits from in your life (ie you give them girlfriend privileges, they treat you like a fuck buddy), you shun anything that prompts you to have an expectation of the people in your life. That way, they can never let you down. By shun, I don't mean simply opt not to employ a particular philosophy in your life, I mean belittle and dismiss that philosophy because it poses such a threat to revealing your true insecurities.

Tl;dr - when you are continually treated like shit, you utilise techniques that allow you to quietly bury your hand in the sand and ignore it rather than find the mental strength to impose boundaries and standards for your partner(s) to adhere to.
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  #43  
Old 08-29-2013, 03:24 AM
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Originally Posted by london View Post
When you have been taught that you are not worth committing to, or honouring the agreements one has made with you, or fulfilling the role that one benefits from in your life (ie you give them girlfriend privileges, they treat you like a fuck buddy), you shun anything that prompts you to have an expectation of the people in your life. That way, they can never let you down. By shun, I don't mean simply opt not to employ a particular philosophy in your life, I mean belittle and dismiss that philosophy because it poses such a threat to revealing your true insecurities.

Tl;dr - when you are continually treated like shit, you utilise techniques that allow you to quietly bury your hand in the sand and ignore it rather than find the mental strength to impose boundaries and standards for your partner(s) to adhere to.
Who are you addressing this post to? You are using the word "you" a lot. Do you mean 1- someone in particular- if so, you must really know them well. 2-people in general (as in we humans tend to....) 3- yourself.

Just curious!
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Last edited by idealist; 08-29-2013 at 03:26 AM.
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  #44  
Old 08-31-2013, 02:04 PM
london london is offline
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The general you, as in "one". I see this all the time, people who try to encourage others not to have expectations of our partners or friends etc, supposedly because the idea of expecting other people to attempt to meet your needs is so wrong and it's usually because they've been badly let down in the past and now feel so worthless, that they no longer make themselves vulnerable to anyone letting them down again. If someone cheats on them, they just say well, i shouldn't have expected them to keep the agreement we made, that kind of thing. Sadly, I think that's why some people are poly, not because it really resonates with them, but because although they would prefer monogamous relationships, their self esteem tells them that nobody would commit to them and them alone so they drift somewhere that doesn't have that expectation for completely the wrong reasons.
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