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  #11  
Old 08-31-2013, 03:05 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is online now
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So he is not WILLING to make a date for face time talk or phone?

Or not ABLE? (Like he's military and deployed overseas or something prohibitive.)

Either way if he is not both willing AND able... then yeah. He's just not meeting your needs at this time and not seeming like he is going to at any time in the near future.

I don't blame you for feeling fed up. It doesn't take rocket science to look at a calendar and go "I'm free on ____ for 1-2 hours. Let's do that."

I'm sorry.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-31-2013 at 03:08 AM.
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  #12  
Old 08-31-2013, 03:11 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Not willing. He apparently made plans last month to go out of town this weekend (I learned about it yesterday). I know cancelling wasn't an option for him as the point of the trip was to see someone he is semi-romantically entangled with. Yesterday, though? He went grocery shopping. That's why he couldn't talk.

I'll get over it. I just really dislike feeling like damaged goods and managing to find (or create) relationships that reinforce that feeling.
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  #13  
Old 08-31-2013, 03:17 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is online now
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Quote:
Yesterday, though? He went grocery shopping. That's why he couldn't talk.
That's a poor reason. We all gotta eat... but c'mon. GF is upset and you have to do grocery?

Esp when you can online grocery so it's all set to pick up at the store and you go in pay and get out?

Or he could ask you or some other pal if they are willing for him to give them money to get his groceries as a favor in order to free up the grocery getting hour to spend talking to you.

There's ways to work around that errand... if willing to. So he's not willing. Sigh.

Again, I'm sorry. I hope things get better for you. You are NOT damaged goods!

hugs
Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-31-2013 at 03:20 AM.
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  #14  
Old 08-31-2013, 03:38 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Instead of feeling like "damaged goods," perhaps you could take in the bigger picture. Acknowledge that he is not meeting your needs, but also perhaps understand that it is probably not about you.

I, too, am dating a man who is divorcing. Like you, I knew him before the divorce. He and I had had a relationship. However, the disintegration of his marriage, the loss of his daily routines, all of his anchor points caused one of the most competent people I have ever met to become completely overwhelmed. As we have worked to re establish our relationship since, he has at times become withdrawn, he has times been uncommunicative, he at times did not seem like himself at all.

Now me, while I too have been in a hurry to re establish our relationship, I am also cognizant of fact that given that he lost his marriage, it would be a little selfish to expect him to reassure me.

Your bf may not want to talk given that you are asking for reassurance, and he may not even have the resources to reassure himself.

I am not saying you are wrong in wanting reassurance, but I do think your timing is off.
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