Thanks everybody, I definitely need to 'find my own voice' in all this. I'm just searching and collecting data but I'm pretty much on information overload at this point (not that it's gonna stop me lol).
I just needed to hear some stronger mature masculine perspectives on polyamory for a minute. So many of the people I've met from my area have been women or naturally more submissive/passive guys. I really need to surf around this board a little more and read posts from the guys on how polyamory came into their lives and what it means to them. I've been very mono hardwired all my life and seeing as this has come about from the outside my systems have perceived it as a 'threat' in a lot if ways, and though I think I've made good progress I can still polarize the situation in my mind very easily. I'm so sick of being distraught over this. I want to move beyond it.