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  #11  
Old 08-24-2013, 09:50 PM
Delphinius Delphinius is offline
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CIndie, that's a great point about public/private OKC!

My thoughts would be don't 'come out' at work but if someone asks (and your job wouldn't be in jeopardy) please say you're in an open relationship/marriage.

In order for the general population to become more accepting (ie eventually equal benefits as well please?) people need to know there are many happy 'open' relationships in the world. Unfortunately the only ones people tend hear about are the unhealthy ones so most people are very negative about 'open' relationships and say they never work.

My husband used an alias on OKC when he had a profile (b/c of concerns of being outed), do most people do that?

Of course if being 'out' would jeopardize anyone's employment, kudos to you for living your life your way and sucks our culture still demands you do so in secret
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  #12  
Old 08-26-2013, 03:44 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delphinius View Post
My husband used an alias on OKC when he had a profile (b/c of concerns of being outed), do most people do that?
What kind of an alias?

I am very out there online. My photo is linked to multiple local poly groups on meetup and fetlife, and I have multiple recognizable photos on OKC. It really wouldn't make much sense to deny it if confronted. The potential risk isn't worth completely disappearing from the local community, so... We'll see how it goes.
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  #13  
Old 08-26-2013, 01:05 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delphinius View Post
My husband used an alias on OKC when he had a profile (b/c of concerns of being outed), do most people do that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysGrowing View Post
What kind of an alias?

I am very out there online. My photo is linked to multiple local poly groups on meetup and fetlife, and I have multiple recognizable photos on OKC. It really wouldn't make much sense to deny it if confronted.
Most people on online dating sites don't use their actual names as usernames for the sites. I would think that is the logical thing to do. It's not just about hiding what you do, it is about staying safe on the internet, from identity theft and other possible crimes and mayhem. I always wonder what people are thinking when I come across the occasional username like FirstnameLastnameZipcode. It's like asking for trouble!
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  #14  
Old 08-26-2013, 05:10 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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I don't share my real name until I know the other persons real name (and have verified it trough comparing pics with info that can be found online). Sometimes this in our email communication, sometimes it's not until the first date.

My real name is quite unique and through it, you can find out a lot about me online.

I do have recognizable pics on OKC. I figure that who recognizes me, already knows me, and I don't care about that.

(I had a funny thing happen once - I got a message on OKC from a guy who had seen me on the street, recognized my pic from OKC, and decided that seeing me in person was the push he needed to contact me. His profile did not really appeal to me (he was very unsure about wether poly was for him) unfortunately.
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  #15  
Old 08-27-2013, 06:06 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I don't generally toss my real name out there.
But if someone really wanted to find it-it wouldn't be hard (I've searched and it's just not hard).

I gave up on trying to figure out how to manage to run a business, manage multiple social groups, deal with school clubs, and keep my real name off the internet.
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  #16  
Old 08-27-2013, 06:38 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Most people on online dating sites don't use their actual names as usernames for the sites. I would think that is the logical thing to do. It's not just about hiding what you do, it is about staying safe on the internet, from identity theft and other possible crimes and mayhem. I always wonder what people are thinking when I come across the occasional username like FirstnameLastnameZipcode. It's like asking for trouble!
I've never considered a username an alias, I guess.
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  #17  
Old 08-29-2013, 12:41 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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When I get asked my name, I tell them my nickname (Ali) and not my actual birth name and definitely no last name. They'd never find me in a search since Ali is not for Allison or any name near Ali.
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  #18  
Old 09-06-2013, 12:59 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nudge View Post
I don't say this to be alarmist-- when my relationship with a co-worker was discovered (we are both married, but are able to fraternize under our company's 'fraternization policy') we were both nearly fired because of the dissaproval of some key people in the office. The way it is, I lost any opportunity for a raise, and feel that my opportunities for growth at my office have all but disappeared.
Quoting my BF here, cause Im that coworker and I have another coworkers question. its not entirely along the lines of this original post, but it seemed like a good place to put it. So above Nudge is talking about us...things have settled down at the office and people are being OK...but Im about to bring on a new employee who will know nothing of this situation. The whole office knows about Nudge and I, but I dont think anyone would tell her. I dont keep our relationship a 'secret' but I dont want this new person to see how much Im with Nudge (or really our general attraction to each other thats just easy to pick up on even if we arent DOING anything) and asusme that we are cheating. I cant exactly just TELL her either. Advice? Its just none of her business and let it lay?
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