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  #1  
Old 08-24-2013, 03:18 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Default little quirks, that's me

Funny my truck driver parents gave me the CB handle of "little bit" when I was young. Definitely had an interesting upbringing before Kindergarten always being in a semi or staying with this or that relative during the summer. And now as a 41 year old woman, wanting to start a blog here for days, but not sure what to say at first, as my journal writing has dwindled in the last 12+ years, I recognize I have these little quirks, little bit's quirks.

Am I little? Well I'm short but not under the 5 foot kind of short. Guess that's a physical quirk. But little, no I don't feel that at all. Might be because I've been this tall, wait I mean short, since I was 10. Yes, once upon a time I was taller than my classmates, but I hit puberty quite young and that in itself, stopped any potential of being one of the tall girls (there went my basketball dreams). Again, another quirk. Seriously? 10 years old is just too young to look like a 16 year old.

Polyamory? Never heard of it, not sure how I knew this was the term to research when DH said to me "I would love for PR to be a part of our lives one day" just over a month ago. After dropping DH off for work, I mulled that concept over and over in my mind on the drive home. How cool would that be to have PR, there in our bed, waking up with us in the morning, making our little brood a bit bigger with his two kids. That fantasy, on that day as well as today, is still just that, a fantasy (but a mighty yummy one at that). But, it also brought the term "polyamory" into my head. I had heard of polygamy but never polyamory or being polyamorous. And DH is the root of all this...my self actualization/realization. He saw me as polyamorous, told me I was falling in love with PR (even though I denied it not to protect DH but myself as PR said he couldn't have a long term relationship with me {will get to that later on} and used my coping skill of compartmentalizing). Back to my point: I came home and googled polyamory. I went with the wikipedia explanation and it hit me like a wall of bricks...."wow, that's me, hubby was right"!

Then lots of discussions evolved and DH and I have been on a rollercoaster, more him than I, with the issues of jealousy and envy. He's posted about his here in the forum and the comments have helped him.

Now back to little quirks. I have a libido that perks up about a year after having girl babies. It never did when I had my son. Not sure what is different between a boy baby and girl babies. And with these libido changes, I go crazy or I went crazy, 12 years ago and a year ago. Aha, you say, there is a back story of this blog.

Hopefully I stay on task and tell it. As I said before, I haven't done any type of journaling in many years. I was quite the writer in college. Had the best compliment a freshmen could ever get from her poetry professor. He asked me my major, I replied accounting, and told me he was amazed at my understanding of poetry and my ability to actually write since accountants could not write. Another little quirk.

Well I feel like I'm going off track with my thoughts. I'm feeling good I've got a snippet started, feeding my brain an opportunity to come back and put more thoughts down, more of me out of my head. I share so much of myself with DH now but there isn't always the time as I see him a few hours six nights a week after he gets home from work and I'm with kids, not just my own since I do childcare right now, all day long, seven days a week. It feels good to just write.

Well the 2 year old is calling my attention away...maybe later, tomorrow or another day.
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Old 08-24-2013, 05:06 AM
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Default quirks, many, maybe

DH and I have known each other for over 22 years, together 19 and married 18 next month. His background - his parents are still married and it'll be 59 years this September. They, his parents, consider themselves Christian. Even dh's grandma was a pastor, so a lot of the monogamous pushing of what's "right".

Me, well my dad tried to be a polygamist years before I was born. My mom found the wedding invitation. She made the journey from Illinois out to a small town on the coast of Washington to stop the wedding. My dad had girlfriends throughout their marriage as she had boyfriends. They cheated on each other as they both did it behind each other's backs. Mom was a hypocrite more so than Dad. The only time they were "together" was when she went on the road with him.

Here you have two friends that fell in love with opposite upbringings. But I, I wanted what his parents had/still have (when I first met him). It was that stability I never had in my life. I could see the security my in-laws have with each other. They are mono, no doubt about it. But that's not how we started dating.

This one evening back when I was 22, slightly buzzed, maybe more, out on a Friday night at the local college bar, I decided I wanted to have children. Screw looking for a boyfriend, long-term relationship. I enjoyed being single, falling in love (NRE maybe) every other 3 to 4 weeks with the newest cute boy I had spotted. I picked the one guy who had physical features I wanted my kids to get, so I went up to him while he was playing pool and asked him to donate me his sperm. Funny now when I look back on that, I had took me about 45 minutes assessing potentials, I was really serious about it and picked my husband.

His answer surprised me. "No, but we can practice at it". Those words, said just the right way with his deep voice, sent shivers through me and although we'd known each other for a few years, this animal attraction took over my body, getting me very turned on. Nothing transpired that night (pretty much a first for me since I was 15). A few weeks went by and I was acting like a high school girl with her first crush. His band mates were in my meditation class so I'd giggle with my two girl friends, telling them loudly so the boys behind us would over hear, about having a crush on DH. Almost a month later, after many times alone, we finally kissed. I had really fallen in love.

Two months later he moves in with me and my 2 roommates (a couple). At three months engaged to get married. A year later we were husband and wife. I didn't get my baby I wanted until over a year after the wedding even though that is what brought us together.

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 08-24-2013 at 05:11 AM.
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Old 08-24-2013, 04:48 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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I look forward to following your journey, and I hope things continue to go well.

Ry
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Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Mr. Grey - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 12 years and father of our (3) children.
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Old 08-24-2013, 08:17 PM
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Thanks FullofLove!

Here are a few links to my introduction and other issues I faced when I first started my poly journey:

INTRO

NEWBIE ISSUES
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Old 08-25-2013, 05:03 PM
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Default not a quirk moment

Yesterday was a good day except the youngest had a fever & the stomach flu. I hurt when my kids are sick. I can't take it away from them but can only be there to give love and nurture. This morning she's got her appetite back but still not the same.

Tonight PR is coming over after work. It's been two weeks since we played. DH & I are very excited for midnight to get here (PR works until 11 & then its a 30 minute drive). We actually last saw him 2 Mondays ago to meet his new girlfriend OM. He hasn't told her about us/me. When he met her she had said she was bi & PR had the idea in his head she could be into a 4-sum eventually. I don't think that is what she was looking for.

Some background on our relationship with PR. Our involvement with PR is what opened our eyes to polyamory (not the showtime show - never even heard of it until I came here). The story:

DH & I have been swingers and then evolved to having an open relationship with each other. DH had a fantasy of having a friend who'd hang out with us and then have sex with me. DH and I have friends, but none to even approach on this subject. To get this fantasy fulfilled, DH put up an ad on Craigslist. No pics were on it but the ad being about having sex with some guys wife brought a lot of responses. I weeded it down to three guys I found as my "type" then DH did all the emailing and planning.

One of the pics was PR. The back story: I had a desire for my neighbor (never acted upon it but had to get it out of my head) and put a MISSED CONNECTION on Craigslist. As usual, lots of responses and it's a missed connection not come have sex with me ad. One was PR. We corresponded a bit but never anything more than asking him for more pics, pics of his "tool". If I'm going to have fun, I don't want to be disappointed. More backstory: DH & I had a prior ad up for another 3 sum and after much frustration and fakes, I made a VENT post about pics not being who they are, etc. Again PR replied but I didn't respond back.

Going back to DH's ad and the three guys. We finally got it down to 2 guys PR and "Slick". I said I just felt a draw to PR more than the other one. So it's the Sunday night, we're meeting this new guy on Monday. I look in my emails and PR had been emailing me since the day before. But he sent a new pic (the one he sent to DH) and I realized, ah, we've been emailing each other. I asked him if he was meeting a couple the next night and yes it was him.

That first time, that first night, there was a physical "love at first sight" between PR & I. DH the next day asked me if I was in love with PR. I laughed, cause that was impossible, I'd only had really good sex with him. The turn on was being watched by DH and having DH participate as well. By the second encounter, yeah, there was more than just sex between PR & I. I was still in denial but PR & I start chatting outside of DH's involvement. I asked if he (PR) felt something. He did, but we decided to leave it at the sex. He was in search for the "one", the girl he'd marry as his second wife. And after 5 days of meeting he thought he had met her and wanted to be honest with me. That didn't work out.

Before my first time alone with PR, DH and I had been discussing my feelings (as noted above in post #2). DH that Thursday text'd PR that I was in love with him, DH was okay with it, realizing I, Ali, could be in love with more than two people at once. That was a lot for PR to take in. He knew I felt something but having DH try to be a matchmaker was a lot to absorb. That Saturday, this is in the second week of seeing each other with dh, I met him alone at his house. I was there for almost 5 hours but had to rush home before 5:15 am. DH had jealousy issues that night when I was on my way there. He wanted me to meet PR alone but he also felt very envious and jealous. This is before we had our intense discussions of polyamory, jealousy and envy insecurities. By the time I made it to PR's place, dh had calmed down. It was fun being alone with him. A great test to see if what I felt was just the three-sum thing or actually something more. It was more, but PR kept reiterating: "I'm a one woman kinda man and I want a one man woman". I responded with that I get it and until that day happens and as long as he still wants to see me/us, I'll be okay with it all. I won't let that emotion grow and in all honesty I haven't let it grow. I've packed it away in a tiny little box and put it on the shelf. But, dh is witness to this, that compartmentalized emotion, it is there when we get together. He feels it, PR shows it as well as I do.

And that last night we spent with PR, he had earlier in the day told me OM was getting serious (as I knew the day would come and a bit later than I thought) but he still wanted to see me, just on the "down-low". I also told him that DH & I have realized we're polyamorous, that I do have feelings but because he, PR, wasn't willing to explore them, I boxed them up and that I would be meeting someone later this month. Apparently PR was very bothered by the potential new suitor as it was the first thing he asked me about when we had a moment alone. Throughout that night he talked with me more than he ever had before as well as to DH about OM, us and me. It was his way of telling us, he's talking this journey with OM but he also wants to continue the journey with us. It was an awesome night, I can say that much.

Roll into the next day/night. We meet them out, played pool, chatted etc but OM had no clue because all my flirting was saved for DH. It was lots of fun to party, on a Monay night (DH's Saturday night). I still am not sure why he wanted OM to meet us. He had said the day before he didn't think she'd want to do something with anyone else besides him. I won't think too much about the way. If he was testing himself, he hasn't told us the answer. (I think he's realizing he can have feelings for more than one person but is stuck in the monogamous mind frame to impress family etc and in all honesty, that is his issue and his thing to figure out~~I'll just enjoy what we have while we have it).

Well I have some primping to do for tonight, some real work to work on and kids to love today. I'll get back to quirks soon. Hell, I have quirks but I have a lot of stuff inside my head so maybe my blog title won't always be about quirks but at least I'm getting it out there.
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:20 AM
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Default last night

Last night was amazing with DH & PR. I love being with both of them at once. And DH was so cool he left the room for a bit so PR & I could have some intimate alone time. PR had missed me and missed being with us.

Things are not going in the direction PR had thought they would be with his new girlfriend OM. I worry for him and can only be a friend who is there to listen to him. They have been dating since Aug 12th and met on the 6th (I'd say they've been dating since the 6th but didn't tell anyone until the 12th). PR is a little freaked out by OM in that she already wants him to move in with her, that she told him about having a dream where she had sex with his twin and that she wants more children with him (OM has 2 year old twins & PR has two older kids from his marriage and does not want any more) and she's driving him crazy with being very insecure about who she is (the girl is fine, nice body etc and young) always needing PR to validate her daily (these are his words).

I hope for his sake he figures out what he wants to do. PR kept saying it would be ending soon. This makes me sad because I had really thought PR had found the "one" he had been looking for. I was so happy for him when he told me about OM and that he wanted us to meet her on top of it.

DH told me I interrupted their conversation right at the point when they started talking about us and poly. Interesting how fate, charma, whatever causes those interruptions. After hearing PR talk about his issues with OM, it's probably best any talks of poly, us and PR be done after he figures out what he needs and wants. Those emotions I compartmentalized, if I let them loose, they'd so wish to push more discussion of connection, feelings and poly on PR. But I don't want that. I want PR to come out and say he wants to try this out, actually letting the emotions take over rather than just the sexual encounters we have. If it ever does grow into a more deep relationship, PR will have to be the one to open up that closed box.

The only problem with these two men is they work late and PR can't get here until 11:30 pm at the earliest. We don't actually move to the bedroom right away so it's usually after midnight when we start and our love sessions go for a few hours. I pretty much don't get to fall asleep until 4 or later and am up by 5:30. When we use to meet 2 to 3 times a week, it took 3 weeks to hit me, but hit a wall I did and ended up sick. Funny getting sick from being loved on by two men.

So our three kids do know PR. The oldest actually didn't meet him until the night we went out with PR & OM. Our son really likes him (PR has a son the exact same age). I guess I'm living out those questions I had about children & polyamory. We have not told the oldest and I'm not sure we will. But dang, I hate not telling her anything. I just know when she does find out she'll think we've been lying to her. I guess that will be the fine point of the discussion with her when that day comes. I/we never lied to her, we just never gave her the full on details of our relationship with PR. Seriously, I sometimes think our kids can guilt trip us as much as other adults try to.

All in all, I'm very happy today. Had a great job interview that didn't bat an eye at the rate of pay I want and are having me come back on Thursday to test my skills and abilities. I did forewarn them I'd been out of the industry for over 2 years now, so there's some catch up with tax laws but I should be fine. Now I'm torn. I love that I've been a sahm (with a child care business) these last 7 months. I get time with the youngest I've never experienced with my oldest two (and from Jan to Apr I use to work 60 to 65 hours a week). The choice is being happy, nurturing my youngest and the other two with just being able to be there or to be not so much happy but making good money (again if they offer what I want) that helps our family out a huge amount. And I can't make that decision until they actually offer me the position. My other interview for this week called and said they hired within the company, so no second interview this week. Decisions, decisions, decisions and no point until I know more to make those decisions.

So this part has been bothering me and I so hope I don't do it. I've been reading a lot lately about the spouse left at home wallowing in self-pity etc. The main point I see in those ones is that it's usually the wife (what I don't want to do) who just flat out refuses to buck up and take responsibility for her children. Yes the spouse needs to own their own emotions and ability to function but when the female puts all the financial and child raising responsibility on the spouse left behind, it really makes me super upset. I am glad to see these posts because it's a reminder of what type of individual I don't want to be when I start dating and experiencing NRE.
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Old 08-27-2013, 02:09 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Originally Posted by alibabe_muse View Post
Last night was amazing with DH & PR. I love being with both of them at once. And DH was so cool he left the room for a bit so PR & I could have some intimate alone time. PR had missed me and missed being with us.
Glad you had an enjoyable evening.

Quote:
Things are not going in the direction PR had thought they would be with his new girlfriend OM. I worry for him and can only be a friend who is there to listen to him. They have been dating since Aug 12th and met on the 6th (I'd say they've been dating since the 6th but didn't tell anyone until the 12th). PR is a little freaked out by OM in that she already wants him to move in with her, that she told him about having a dream where she had sex with his twin and that she wants more children with him (OM has 2 year old twins & PR has two older kids from his marriage and does not want any more) and she's driving him crazy with being very insecure about who she is (the girl is fine, nice body etc and young) always needing PR to validate her daily (these are his words).

I hope for his sake he figures out what he wants to do. PR kept saying it would be ending soon. This makes me sad because I had really thought PR had found the "one" he had been looking for. I was so happy for him when he told me about OM and that he wanted us to meet her on top of it.
That relationship sounds like a trainwreck waiting to happen. This is why people should not make decisions on a dopamine filled brain. Things like children, cohabitating, etc. are matters that need to be agreed upon before wasting one another's time. Two-three weeks of dating, and she wants to have the man's baby? If I were him, I would ask her to slow down. He needs to tell her that she is moving too fast and that he wants to pump the brakes. That would make anyone uncomfortable. That and her constant need for validation. She sounds clingy, need, and very insecure. All things that would be turn offs for most people.

Quote:
So our three kids do know PR. The oldest actually didn't meet him until the night we went out with PR & OM. Our son really likes him (PR has a son the exact same age). I guess I'm living out those questions I had about children & polyamory. We have not told the oldest and I'm not sure we will. But dang, I hate not telling her anything. I just know when she does find out she'll think we've been lying to her. I guess that will be the fine point of the discussion with her when that day comes. I/we never lied to her, we just never gave her the full on details of our relationship with PR. Seriously, I sometimes think our kids can guilt trip us as much as other adults try to.
Only you know your children and what is best for them. She may not want to know. She may roll her eyes, or she may have an adverse reaction. There is no telling. Anything goes. The logic of all children need is love did not apply to my baby. She feels otherwise. Talk to your daughter and pose hypothetical questions to kind of get a gauge for how she might react. The last thing you want to do is start the habit of lying to her either by white lies or slight omissions. Like most teenagers, the last thing they want to hear about is what their parents do behind closed doors. Sometimes PDA grosses them out.

Quote:
All in all, I'm very happy today. Had a great job interview that didn't bat an eye at the rate of pay I want and are having me come back on Thursday to test my skills and abilities. I did forewarn them I'd been out of the industry for over 2 years now, so there's some catch up with tax laws but I should be fine. Now I'm torn. I love that I've been a sahm (with a child care business) these last 7 months. I get time with the youngest I've never experienced with my oldest two (and from Jan to Apr I use to work 60 to 65 hours a week). The choice is being happy, nurturing my youngest and the other two with just being able to be there or to be not so much happy but making good money (again if they offer what I want) that helps our family out a huge amount. And I can't make that decision until they actually offer me the position. My other interview for this week called and said they hired within the company, so no second interview this week. Decisions, decisions, decisions and no point until I know more to make those decisions.
I am doing a hybrid of working and staying at home, and so far, so good. I work a set amount of hours per week. I work in the mornings, so my afternoons and evenings are free for her school assemblies/festivities, ballet classes, and our respective interests. Those only last an hour. From about 3:15-9:30, I am on mummy duty. Prior to relocating, I was lucky to get home by 8 or 9. I do hope they offer you a position that is satisfactory and will allow you to continue to foster and strengthen the relationship with your youngest even more. The time really does fly by.

Quote:
So this part has been bothering me and I so hope I don't do it. I've been reading a lot lately about the spouse left at home wallowing in self-pity etc. The main point I see in those ones is that it's usually the wife (what I don't want to do) who just flat out refuses to buck up and take responsibility for her children. Yes the spouse needs to own their own emotions and ability to function but when the female puts all the financial and child raising responsibility on the spouse left behind, it really makes me super upset. I am glad to see these posts because it's a reminder of what type of individual I don't want to be when I start dating and experiencing NRE.
This bothers me, too. It is even worse people make excuses for their behaviour and try to rationalise it like it is OK or acceptable because of x reason or y reason. Nothing is more important than the life a parent brings in to the world. To hell with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I worry about that child or those children who get left behind just like the spouse. If people do not want to take care of their children or only see them a couple of times a month, they should never have had children.
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Old 08-27-2013, 02:15 PM
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If I were him, I would ask her to slow down. He needs to tell her that she is moving too fast and that he wants to pump the brakes. That would make anyone uncomfortable.
I may steal your thoughts and suggest as much to him. He's at a point of not knowing what to do and can't really discuss with any one else in his life (twin brother, friends, etc).



Quote:
Only you know your children and what is best for them. She may not want to know. She may roll her eyes, or she may have an adverse reaction. There is no telling. Anything goes. The logic of all children need is love did not apply to my baby. She feels otherwise. Talk to your daughter and pose hypothetical questions to kind of get a gauge for how she might react. The last thing you want to do is start the habit of lying to her either by white lies or slight omissions. Like most teenagers, the last thing they want to hear about is what their parents do behind closed doors. Sometimes PDA grosses them out.
I'd say the oldest would want to know, not details, but that mom and dad love each other, they just have other loves. She watched Big Love years ago with me when we had HBO. At that time she thought that was interesting, did not seem to think any thing was specifically wrong with having more than one wife. Maybe I need to get a trial of Showtime and have her watch the polyamory show with me, then we could discuss her observations. As far as pda goes, um, yeah, she is not too appreciative of her dad's displays of affections in front of her (more in front of friends who are here visiting). Strange that when they are young, they love seeing mom and dad, kiss, hug but as soon as their own hormones hit, yucky, please don't do that comes out of their mouths.



Quote:
I am doing a hybrid of working and staying at home, and so far, so good. I work a set amount of hours per week. I work in the mornings, so my afternoons and evenings are free for her school assemblies/festivities, ballet classes, and our respective interests. Those only last an hour. From about 3:15-9:30, I am on mummy duty. Prior to relocating, I was lucky to get home by 8 or 9. I do hope they offer you a position that is satisfactory and will allow you to continue to foster and strengthen the relationship with your youngest even more. The time really does fly by.
I have one client for my bookkeeping business and actually that should be enough with the childcare work too. I just need to get better at time management. As soon as my teen daughter and her brother (he'll start second grade) return to school next week, I can start to reschedule my time. Also the kiddos I watch, instead of here at 5:30 am will be here at 7:30 as of the 9th. That'll free me up in the mornings or let me get a little more sleep. September is definitely a month of changes to the summer schedule.



Quote:
This bothers me, too. It is even worse people make excuses for their behaviour and try to rationalise it like it is OK or acceptable because of x reason or y reason. Nothing is more important than the life a parent brings in to the world. To hell with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I worry about that child or those children who get left behind just like the spouse. If people do not want to take care of their children or only see them a couple of times a month, they should never have had children.
I hate that emotion is used as an excuse to behave that way. My kids, they are always number one, before any primary or new partners. I have not experienced NRE, don't know if I ever will (I like having control of my emotions too much), but if I do, my kids emotional stability is the most important. And you are right, those parents should have never had kids. Similar to you when your son was born (I'm getting through your blog) my youngest came 8 weeks early and I had many issues with gestational diabetes, fasting blood sugars not being controlled with diet and medication, getting put on insulin, discovering a thyroid tumor, a few falls trying to arrange her closet and on delivery day, losing 3 pints of blood and when they cut baby out, she had stopped breathing, basically flatlined. Almost loosing your life and that of your child's makes for a deeper commitment to that child. Seeing them in nicu, going into apnea so often, having to beg the doctor to let you breastfeed and not just pump your milk so that bond helps them thrive and feeding tubes, it gives a whole new perspective on the unconditional bond parents usually feel for the life they brought into this world. Sorry - I think I rambled there. But yeah...KIDS FIRST before sex, love and rock-n-roll.

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 08-27-2013 at 02:33 PM.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:58 PM
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It's all quiet in the house and an opportunity to blog.

Today I was asked to finally meet a lady I've been emailing with for the last month. I had (long before recognizing polyamory) put an ad on Craigslist in search of a girlfriend that really wanted to be friends and if more came of it, lucky us.

Replies were slow to come in. There was one (BL) who I thought we'd connected but she was going through a divorce and even though we only live about 10 minutes from each other, she just wasn't able to continue the emails. I think I'll email her just to see how she has been doing. I still need friends who are some what like me. My one friend I have since we moved here is a gossiper and I know if she ever got wind of my alternative choices the entire high school would know about it and my oldest would suffer, so I search for those like me.

Back to JB (possible new female lover), she, surprisingly saw my ad, the same day BL said she couldn't meet, and contacted me. JB and I have been chatting off and on for over the last month and have found a connection to each other. Today she told me she's horny, would like to meet on Sunday and maybe we could play afterwards. I'm blushing right now. I've been with two women alone (one was in a bathroom at a gay bar in my old home town and the other we had a fwb over 12 years ago) so I'm feeling nervous and JB is pregnant. I am turned on thinking about meeting her, but I am not sure what to do when we get intimate (well if we do, maybe she changes her mind or I do). So for the next few days I'll be trying to figure this out in my head.

Tomorrow I have my date with M (met on okcupid who I have handled my contact with much differently than other men - no pic sending, no sexting~yet, who told me he'd rather continue our conversation in person rather than through okc or texting). He's driving the 30 minutes to meet me here in town to have a drink (he said he is not much of a coffee drinker). I'm excited and trying to think of what to wear. The tight red tank and short skirt or my short sun dress. I don't want to appear slutty but I also want him to find me attractive. Most days I just put my hair in a pony, tank top and shorts.

Oh, DH and I have a date for tonight after kids go to sleep. Yes the date is here in our home, but it's still a date. I'm going to wear his favorite outfit (undergarments only be required) and continue our training (we have a D/s relationship where dh is my pet). This is new for us, but we both have had this kink for some time, but never acted upon it until recently.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:14 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
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Default date night

Very stressful start to the day. I do think I'm going to take the job if I pass their test tomorrow, but as long as they are within $5 per hour of what I've asked for; otherwise it wouldn't be worth it to go back into an industry I left two years ago for less than what I made four years ago.

This Labor Day weekend will be spent visiting with nephew and his kids. Then school shopping on Monday (got to get those sales). Tuesday the oldest two return to school (yeah ~ love being with them all the time but it'll be nice having them out of the house).

Well tonight is my first official date since DH and I made a choice of polyamory. DH sent me this amazing text last night explaining how much he loves me, that in developing relationships with another that he wants this other person to value me as much as he does. Basically that this person should respect my time, my boundaries, to value me, and appreciate the time he/she will get with me. It brought tears to my eyes that he's overcoming his jealousy/envy/insecurities.

We had a good date night and it actually was just us as us and no bdsm play. I was too tired after working out. I thought working out is suppose to give me new energy but not yet. I always feel great but a few hours afterwards I'm ready for bed. Must be the prior days' late nights just catching up with me.

I'll post soon how my date goes tonight. Take care and I hope it's a great day for everyone else!
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