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Old 08-24-2013, 03:18 AM
alibabe_muse's Avatar
alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 344
Default little quirks, that's me

Funny my truck driver parents gave me the CB handle of "little bit" when I was young. Definitely had an interesting upbringing before Kindergarten always being in a semi or staying with this or that relative during the summer. And now as a 41 year old woman, wanting to start a blog here for days, but not sure what to say at first, as my journal writing has dwindled in the last 12+ years, I recognize I have these little quirks, little bit's quirks.

Am I little? Well I'm short but not under the 5 foot kind of short. Guess that's a physical quirk. But little, no I don't feel that at all. Might be because I've been this tall, wait I mean short, since I was 10. Yes, once upon a time I was taller than my classmates, but I hit puberty quite young and that in itself, stopped any potential of being one of the tall girls (there went my basketball dreams). Again, another quirk. Seriously? 10 years old is just too young to look like a 16 year old.

Polyamory? Never heard of it, not sure how I knew this was the term to research when DH said to me "I would love for PR to be a part of our lives one day" just over a month ago. After dropping DH off for work, I mulled that concept over and over in my mind on the drive home. How cool would that be to have PR, there in our bed, waking up with us in the morning, making our little brood a bit bigger with his two kids. That fantasy, on that day as well as today, is still just that, a fantasy (but a mighty yummy one at that). But, it also brought the term "polyamory" into my head. I had heard of polygamy but never polyamory or being polyamorous. And DH is the root of all this...my self actualization/realization. He saw me as polyamorous, told me I was falling in love with PR (even though I denied it not to protect DH but myself as PR said he couldn't have a long term relationship with me {will get to that later on} and used my coping skill of compartmentalizing). Back to my point: I came home and googled polyamory. I went with the wikipedia explanation and it hit me like a wall of bricks...."wow, that's me, hubby was right"!

Then lots of discussions evolved and DH and I have been on a rollercoaster, more him than I, with the issues of jealousy and envy. He's posted about his here in the forum and the comments have helped him.

Now back to little quirks. I have a libido that perks up about a year after having girl babies. It never did when I had my son. Not sure what is different between a boy baby and girl babies. And with these libido changes, I go crazy or I went crazy, 12 years ago and a year ago. Aha, you say, there is a back story of this blog.

Hopefully I stay on task and tell it. As I said before, I haven't done any type of journaling in many years. I was quite the writer in college. Had the best compliment a freshmen could ever get from her poetry professor. He asked me my major, I replied accounting, and told me he was amazed at my understanding of poetry and my ability to actually write since accountants could not write. Another little quirk.

Well I feel like I'm going off track with my thoughts. I'm feeling good I've got a snippet started, feeding my brain an opportunity to come back and put more thoughts down, more of me out of my head. I share so much of myself with DH now but there isn't always the time as I see him a few hours six nights a week after he gets home from work and I'm with kids, not just my own since I do childcare right now, all day long, seven days a week. It feels good to just write.

Well the 2 year old is calling my attention away...maybe later, tomorrow or another day.
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