Walking on thin ice, yearning for a swim
Let's start with a summary, so your eyes don't turn inside out:
my female partner and I (male) are late 30's / early 40's, straight but heteroflexible
have been together about 5 years
Opened up our relationship 3 years ago
experienced the usual fun and dire pit-falls: threesomes gone awry, a bit of solitary play and grooming, she dated a woman, etc but nothing too heavy just yet -- and lots of difficulty, as this is something I need because of who I am, and she goes along with because she wants to be with me, and possibly grow beyond the limitation of her upbringing and fears.
Saying it has been at times difficult wins laughable understatement of the year
the thought of sincere emotional intimacy / love with another is very threatenign to her.
I would say at this time she is a bit more curious and positive thinking toward true polyamory, however.
We are "out" fairly strongly as open and progressive.
we are doing better now than anytime prior, but I'd call her a bit fragile.
So why am I here, as you my be dubbing me "Mr. Typical open relationship guy."
Well: because I have feelings for someone else, they are mutual, and I don't want to treat her like an experiment, a perk or a play toy. I desire a genuine experience with her, whatever that may entail and however it may manifest.
You could say I'm "poly-yearning" at this point; the thought of having both in my intimate life borders on blissful.
... and we're all going to need your help.
oh, to add another iron to the fire, she's an ex girlfriend.
My partner is aware we spend time together, including date type sitautions thus far. Nothing is hidden, at this point, except the depth of my desire.
That will be remedied in time.
Well, hopefully this will warrant a few replies. My actual next connundrum and challenge this weekend I will post in a separate thread. The response there will be fascinating.