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  #151  
Old 08-19-2013, 09:25 AM
Vexxed Vexxed is offline
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I like knowing details. I'll take them as juicy as she'll give them to me, but I usually ask questions about the highlights, or the overall type of sex. I do this to be modest and respectful. If I sense that she's enjoying telling, I'll ask a little more.

I'm definitely a voyeur, so hearing details excites me greatly. It is sometimes intimidating for me as well. Two of her other lovers (out of 4 of us) are really good at oral. I'm mediocre. They also have bigger cocks (one is a strap-on). She has admitted that she prefers bigger a little bit (I've also witnessed this while I pleasuring her with ultra realistic dildos). I like it this way because I like the cuckold fetish elements quite a bit. I don't have an interest in pure cuckolding though, or that whole fetish as a lifestyle. It's all totally poly with a dash of cuckolding.

Anyway, for me it's really hot to hear the details, and about 5% of the time I'm shook up and intimidated after. That gives my fetish experience more power for me though. There has to be some intensity of emotion or I have no interest in the cuckolding element. So, I'm actually kinda fortunate that her other lovers are impressive, considering my inclinations. It is a bit of a balancing act though.

I haven't had many other dates. I don't think she will want any details other than the specifics regarding safety and agreements.

Last edited by Vexxed; 08-19-2013 at 12:05 PM.
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  #152  
Old 08-19-2013, 02:15 PM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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This is actually something my husband and I talk about on a regular basis: balancing our urge to share with respecting the other person/people involved and their privacy.

Luckily, I am mostly involved with people who are perfectly happy with me sharing whatever I want. In fact, they have started working together to push my boundaries when it comes to some kink stuff (something I have been wanting to do for a while anyway, but it somehow seems easier with 2 people encouraging me).

I'm comfortable not knowing, as well, if there are people involved who don't like details shared. Like someone else said, as long as I am made aware when a relationship becomes sexual and that all rules/boundaries are being respected, I'm good to go. Anything else is just icing on the cake
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  #153  
Old 08-19-2013, 03:05 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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Thanks for all the great responsing!! I find it interesting cause my BF and I are very different on this issue, he'll listen but he doesnt necessarily want to tell me stuff. i original was asking ,because he brought something up and then backed off on explaining and i was annoyed. lol. but i get that people have some privacy stuff and this is a touchy subject to feel out (no pun intended)
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  #154  
Old 08-21-2013, 03:53 PM
Nox Nox is offline
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I love to tell and hear. Neither T nor K want to tell or hear.

Coincidently, that's about the only thing about my life K doesn't like me to share with her.
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  #155  
Old 08-21-2013, 05:22 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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I found a rather amusing (to me in all my childishness) analogy on Reddit last night:

You may be comfortable pooping with the door open, but it doesn't mean I want to see it.

You may extend that to, you may be comfortable with ME pooping with the door open, but I'm not.

Hm. Maybe lunch wasn't the best time to type this up...
At any rate, I'm not an open-door kinda gal.
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  #156  
Old 08-22-2013, 01:51 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default The right of way always goes

to the person who isn't comfortable with sharing details and I believe respect must be shown to those who consider it private information and do not want anyone privy to the details. Whether or not a lover of mine had sex and whether or not it was safe sex is all I demand of my partners.

However when people are comfortable, and no there is no disrespect shown, I do like people who share and I like to share details. My problem is that when it comes to private matters and you are not put at risk not knowing, invasion of that private information is a very big deal to me and I firmly believe in regards to sex, that NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO SHAME ANOTHER WHEN IT COMES TO SEX.

If someone doesn't care whether or not the whole world could have front row seats to every sexual event, that is their decision, and they are the ones who get to make that decision. Overstepping boundaries to me is a very serious offense, peeping toms, or people who film others without their permission, or those who shame or black mail others about sexuality, are right there with the lowest opinion I could possibly have of person.

I believe there are some things that people can never be justified in doing when it comes to another's autonomy, sex is one of those things

it is also one of those things where permission and consent from fully knowledgeable adults -- when it does not affect me -- I don't have any right to tell them what is right wrong, as that is between them and the parties involved, that freedom to choose, and the mandatory respect it demands, is how I view sacred things

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 08-22-2013 at 01:55 AM.
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  #157  
Old 08-23-2013, 02:09 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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J doesn't Want to know when N has sex with other women. He asked her if he should tell her when he's seeing someone new but she would rather not know. She doesnt tell him either. He doesn't care either way. I ask her but I'm nosy lol
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  #158  
Old 08-23-2013, 02:41 PM
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Nudge Nudge is offline
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One thing to note is that disclosing sexual details means providing information about a third party who may not want to have the information shared.

I may be comfortable sharing sexual information about me and my spouse with my girlfriend, but what if the spouse wouldn't want the information shared. Consent of every party involved is important.
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  #159  
Old 08-23-2013, 02:46 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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Yeah in that case I would only talk about myself, my experience. Not them or specific details about them.
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  #160  
Old 08-23-2013, 03:27 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Having sex with someone you don't trust to be courteous with your feelings and reputation is reckless. If you (the royal you, not anyone in particular) choose to do this then I suppose that being embarrassed by what someone is sharing is your own fault.

If you don't trust me enough to be courteous about the details of your life and minimize harm done to you by something I might say ... why did you have sex with me? That's just weird.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nudge View Post
One thing to note is that disclosing sexual details means providing information about a third party who may not want to have the information shared.

I may be comfortable sharing sexual information about me and my spouse with my girlfriend, but what if the spouse wouldn't want the information shared. Consent of every party involved is important.
I don't ask people specifically what details they are comfortable with my sharing with other people unless there is some particular reason to do so (I've never encountered that reason, but I presume it could be out there). The reason to be concerned about what information should be shared is generally "Will this information be used to embarrass or injure me at some point in the future". I guess there are some people who are touchy about information being shared about themselves for reasons other this fear of potential harm... but I don't know what those reasons would be.

I make sure to get to know my partners and to understand if they are paranoid about being injured or embarrassed, or if they live their life in a more "open book" fashion. I also consider the person I am speaking to and whether or not they have a tendency to gossip or have a problem with their brain-mouth filter. Once I discover that someone has a brain-mouth filter issue I stop sharing with them (anything, really). Once I discover that my partner is paranoid about their details and doesn't trust me to be careful with them... my guess is that relationship is not going to be very intimate.

So I would say, consider the source of the information and who you are sharing it with should be the most important. Getting consent to tell someone about a sexual encounter with someone else isn't something I find practical.
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