Well I don't have any updates or anything other than that I'm enjoying just chatting with my ex sometimes and occasionally flirting. He's so busy that he doesn't reply to emails as promptly as I might like which sometimes leads me to pout a little but when we do talk on the phone we make each other laugh and we have fun. I don't need any more than that, but it will be interesting to see where this leads over the next year or few.. if its just to make me appreciate him more as a friend well that was a great outcome. I wish we could all meet up in person and chat though, I haven't seen him since last summer when we had the initial realisation that just maybe all of us would be up for some kind of extracurricular activity together..
I have been going over and over in my head how I would feel if my husband was interested in someone else, and I really feel that this is something I need to work on because I just don't like being this person who is asking something of her partner that she couldn't give back. I've come to the conclusion that if I imagine him being with a really close friend of mine that it doesn't feel half so bad which is interesting. My husband thinks I'm nuts for even thinking about it and tells me he has zero desire to ever be with anyone else, but I think for my own self esteem I need to at least explore these emotions some more.
The other thing that occurred to me recently was that one of the ideas that stays with me as I read this forum is a quote from the book Passionate Marriage, something like "Love is not saying to your partner, if you love me you'll live within my limitations."