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  #501  
Old 08-11-2013, 08:38 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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I just started a new okcupid profile and its bedn pretty great. I put that I'm poly looking to connect with other poly folks (not swingers) and that people looking for casual sex need not message me. I just ignore all the " you're so gorgeous" messages. I've had some really good conversations and now texting with a poly, pansexual guy that I'm highly compatible. So many geeky people on OC *SWOON*
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  #502  
Old 08-11-2013, 09:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
and that people looking for casual sex need not message me..
Aah my first 'rule'

Glad your finding some cool people though.
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  #503  
Old 08-12-2013, 07:24 AM
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I've found there's a strong correlation between pictures, especially sexy or cute ones, and creepy messages for sex-crazed jerks. I try to keep mine to a minimum and usually unidentifiable.

Also, uncheck casual sex. That affects whose profiles you show up on. If you're really only looking for long term, then maybe even check only that. But you might narrow the field too much.

Another good idea is to answer lots of polyamory related questions, with corresponding the corresponding answers marked "mandatory." That helps improve your %age match with like-minded people.
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  #504  
Old 08-12-2013, 02:23 PM
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It might just be the reason "Jack" wasn't messaging you, but Jerk was.
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  #505  
Old 08-12-2013, 06:22 PM
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I only have long term relationships checked off, as I am not at all interested in casual sex right now.
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  #506  
Old 08-18-2013, 01:33 PM
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Definitely getting several messages from mono guys "interested in exploring poly" with me. I think this is code for hooking up regularly with no strings attached. Delete!

My poly guy lunch on Friday turned into a park date on Saturday and bam! I got hit with NRE bad. I didn't think it would hit that quickly, especially since I liked him enough to go have a second date, but I wasn't really thinking it was anything more awesome than my two dates with a different guy that I've had. I am seriously crushing hard right now! Third date scheduled for Tuesday. We've sent SO many long emails over the past week and had a very meaningful Facebook chat that lasted a couple of hours last night. He is feeling the same connection, and is surprised as well. His wife is very excited for him, and my husband is happy too.

Trying to slow my racing heart down and breathe a bit. I don't want to screw this up. The difference between my two week experiment with my mono-friend that ended in failure and the couple other dates I've had with the open-relationship-friendly guy are so different from this experience. Actually being with an honest-to-goodness poly person ratchets down my stress level SO much. I should have anticipated that, but I didn't. He totally gets everything I am talking about and is interested in my family & husband. It's really great.
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  #507  
Old 08-19-2013, 02:21 AM
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Ah-good read-great reminders as to why I don't do online dating. BLECH!

If I were going to-I wouldn't put a pic on there. I had an OKC for awhile-so Maca could link to mine (because women didn't believe his wife was "OK" with him dating).

I got so disgusted with the shit sent to me. My profile was so locked down and specific and "high maintenance" I suppose-because I was point blank that I wasn't looking for ANYONE TO HAVE SEX WITH EVER PERIOD. The only pic was Maca and I kissing.
But I still got dick pics, "you're so hot wanna fuck" etc. Fucking asinine.
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  #508  
Old 08-19-2013, 02:24 AM
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Default Burnt out on okcupid

I'm slightly overwhelmed with my messages on okc. The quantity has gone down a little bit in the last week but I still get at least 10 a day. If I have energy & I am not interested I will say so, but I have tapered that off a bit since the recipient won't take a polite not interested response for what it is & still sends messages.

Okc is ok. I use to use plenty of fish & set up a new account to meet females but its disappointing. Appears more people use okc.

Of the contacts I am interested in, we chat but I verify they read my profile first. 90% don't & only contact me, not because of my face, but my chest. It's nice to be desired, but I'm looking for more than that. So its basically more of an on-line meat market but I do have faith I'll meet he/she that wants to get to know me.

I have met on there a few 30 minute away local poly couples to be friends with, but that's about it.

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 08-19-2013 at 02:26 AM.
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  #509  
Old 08-21-2013, 02:31 AM
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Well, I disabled my account. Mr. Poly Guy and I had another awesome date and we both decided to concentrate on exploring our burgeoning relationship. I can only handle one boyfriend at a time and I'm tired of answering asinine emails, so, OKC is shut off to see how things progress. (He is disabling his account as well.) My NRE is telling me this is awesomesauce, but I guess time will tell! My new guy is meeting my husband in the next couple of days - my hubby is feeling crazy compersion right now and is so very happy for me. I am super happy too.
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Wife to DarkKnight and PunkRockAwesomesauce
Girlfriend to WarMan, also mono

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  #510  
Old 08-23-2013, 07:35 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Default Coworkers and online dating

I am curious how people handle online dating. I use OkCupid and recently noticed a coworker also on the site. Since this isn't about a relationship, per se, I went with general discussions.

Some background as to why I am curious.. I am mostly out as poly. Friends know. The important family knows (parents, siblings). HOWEVER, I have never found it necessary to "come out" at work. I try not to talk about my personal life too much, and I just generally don't want to deal with the drama. Because I am fairly certain there would be drama.

I mostly work with about 6 other women. I see some of them multiple days a week, others only a few times a month. Most of them are single or only casually dating. They tend to have very traditional views, and most of them have given me odd looks at various times when I have made comments about open relationships being preferable to cheating (because some of them have a history of cheating and would talk about it or cheating will be on the tv/radio show that we're discussing or whatever).

So, I personally have not told them. Don't wanna deal with them looking at me oddly or potentially judging me. I know for a fact a couple of them don't really like me, and I don't want to give them a reason to really try looking for something that they can use to get rid of me. Now that I know at least one of them uses OKC (and since they are mostly all friends and OKC has interesting questions/quizzes I could easily see more following), which I also use regularly, I wonder if that should change.

Is it better to be open about it and be available for questions or is it better to just wait and see if anyone else notices my profile and/or brings it up? Has anyone else dealt with this?
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