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Old 02-16-2010, 04:36 PM
polytriad polytriad is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 105

Originally Posted by sunnydee View Post
I may be reading this wrong, but it doesn't really sound like there's a problem here. You say that you both agreed that you put things on hold, but then you say you're not sure how she feels and you're not sure that she will contact you if she wants to. This makes me think that it was she that indicated she needed space and you are just feeling a bit insecure that if you don't keep your hand in, so to speak, that you might lose her. Maybe you just miss her?

It's ok to let her know you are there for her, if she needs you, and maybe to contact her after a few weeks to ask how she's doing, but, if she's really going to go through divorce... well, she really might need the space and you might just need to hang in there for a bit and wait til she's more settled to find out if you can pick up where you left off. It's probably a pretty crazy time for her and she really might go through some pretty radical emotional changes. It's clear that you already think that you shouldn't try to manipulate the situation more than that, and you're right. You might just need to wait and see. Hugs.
+1 on what Sunnydee said. Also providing comfort in her time of need is great but it may be difficult due to you not being a bias shoulder. Maybe your wife can spend some "friend" time with her. in the end this will show her you respect her hard times with her husband but also care for her deeply to makes she sue knows we she has a problem then you are there to help her work it out.
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Old 02-19-2010, 01:09 AM
darthsabbath darthsabbath is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 11

Please understand that I get where y'all are coming from. In most circumstances, I would absolutely agree with you: backing away completely would be the best course of action. In this situation, though, she would take that as me running from her, and I think it would hurt her.

But Sunnydee is right... I do miss her terribly. The uncertainty... not knowing where we stand romantically. In many ways, it would be easier even if she just came out and told me she wasn't interested in more than friends... it would sting a bit, but I would at least know. And then I feel guilty for even worrying about it, when I know that her well being should be my only concern.

But getting it out helps... it's a big weight off my chest.
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