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  #51  
Old 08-18-2013, 09:21 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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I met Murf in person not online... so today when he called be before work I asked if he would have approached me if I was wearing a ring. He said no.
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  #52  
Old 08-19-2013, 12:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
I met Murf in person not online... so today when he called be before work I asked if he would have approached me if I was wearing a ring. He said no.
Dagferi - so when you met Murf, you did not have your ring on? Where did the two of you meet? Or if you have a thread on this, let me know.

Thanks!
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  #53  
Old 08-19-2013, 12:34 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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No did not have a ring on when i met Murf. I had lost so much weight my ring just fell off so I have not worn it in 2 years. It means too much to me to risk losing it and it can not be resized.

I have always been into classic and antique cars. My husband is not. We met through the car scene. We ran across each other at a few car cruises and he fell hard. The local cruise has a dinner stop amongst others where you get to socialize. After the third one he asked me out on a date. Then came the hard conversation .. Long story short he decided he wanted me in his life.

Been together almost 16 months.
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #54  
Old 08-19-2013, 01:35 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Everyone I have ever dated-and everyone that Maca has dated-we met with rings on.

He NEVER takes his off.
I don't wear mine most of the time-but always when I dress up or go out to school.
But-even if someone approached me thinking I wasn't married-they wouldn't make it 2 minutes before they knew I was married. They wouldn't make it more than 5 minutes in conversation with me before they knew I also have a boyfriend and kids.

I asked GG and he said there's no way he would take his rings off to date. No way no how.
Maca won't take his off even for work (and he's not supposed to wear it at work because its a life/safety risk as an electrician)
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  #55  
Old 08-19-2013, 02:05 AM
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Red face Keeping it on

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I love my ring. It actually is a replacement due to a car accident back in 1999. We were hit head on and my left hand hit the windshield, diamond lost among the broken glass & the medic had to cut it off before I lost my finger. I honestly can't remember the name of the stone, but it changes colors from blue, green to purple on a silver band. I prefer it over the original ring.

I feel for me it's staying on. I don't do bars except 2-3 times a year. And if I have a date, then she/he will already know I'm married.
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  #56  
Old 08-19-2013, 03:01 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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We leave ours on too, ive told my spouse he can remove his for dating if he wanted to, but as some of you have expressed hes said he would just say he was married right quick anyway. I like wearing mine cause i picked it out 12 years ago and it makes me think of DH. I also wear a turqoise ring from Nudge (bf) almost every day, which isnt like wearing a wedding ring but still like to think about him
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  #57  
Old 08-19-2013, 04:41 PM
moonlitwish moonlitwish is offline
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The only time I don't wear my rings away from home is when I forget them over the kitchen sink-ironically that happened today for the first time since we married 1 month ago.
J doesn't wear a ring because Bug hid it from him. I've never seen L take hers off except for dishes and showering. B occasionally forgets where she put hers at night but typically wears them all day every day. I am right there with LR; I cannot have most conversations without mentioning B and if you want to get to know me well, it won't be long until you find out about J & L. These people are an integral part of my world and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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  #58  
Old 08-26-2013, 03:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alibabe_muse View Post
When you go on a date, do you keep your wedding ring on if you are married? What about when just out in public (grocery store, the park) where you might meet a stranger that say "hi"?

I've been thinking about this for the last few days. I'd almost feel naked without it on. I just don't know what my protocol should be. Any past experiences anyone can share with me?
I only take mine off when I'm doing activities where it can be lost or damaged.

There is no "should" for the protocol you choose to follow. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy is what you "should" do.

Hmm.. random thoughts about wearing it and the effect that would have on potential dates... I personally can't be bothered to "initiate" anyone into polyamory. As far as I'm concerned, someone who would see my ring and think of me as "off-limits" is not worth my time. Similarly, someone who completely rejects marriage and what it represents probably won't understand my lifestyle and we'd have some pretty insurmountable challenges in dating... so taking off my ring to not scare them off is similarly a waste of time. My marriage takes up a lot of my available time. School takes up most of the rest. So for me, the ideal partners are also married or at least seriously committed, because they won't be relying on me for their main source of companionship. Since married poly folk are less likely to be scared off by a wedding ring, it's probably more of a built-in filter than a detriment...
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  #59  
Old 08-26-2013, 12:42 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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so all of you are already talking about wedding rings here....my spouse has a date on thursday, his OKC account plainly states we are poly but he wants to broach it with her in person. I suggested maybe he not wear his ring...thoughts?
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  #60  
Old 08-26-2013, 02:42 PM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
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Default A different thought

Everyone on here appears to be concerned whether the person they're looking to date is okay with their ring or not....would you really want to give the idea to anyone interested in you that you were single?

To me, the question is, what about outside parties? If you're on a date, and you're wearing a ring, and your partner isn't, it looks like you're cheating. Do you care about that? Possibly not, I'm not saying you should either way.

But to me, that should really be the only concern. Anyone you're dating, who has a problem with seeing the ring, probably isn't the best fit, anyway. Like the spouse with the date....his date has the right to know, from the start, that he's married, and he should really find out, from the start, if she can handle this (if she can't handle seeing evidence of another partner, is she really cut out for poly?). Why deceive her about it when you don't have to?
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