Wearing your wedding/engagement ring

I have two rings. One I got for things that are hardy on rings (titanium steel). Since my regular ring (the one with the stone) is uncomfortable when Seven holds my hand (his and Lamian's are both flat) I will wear my flat titanium steel one when we are together.
 
I have three rings on my ring finger. The only one I remove is the engagement ring, and I only do that for work. After work, it is put back on. If someone I had dated had a problem with what was on my hand, clearly they did not need to be in my life. :)
 
The wearing of a ring is meant to be the symbol of your love...Wear it at all times,on dates, in bed,it doesnt matter....Why start any new relationship with a lie...
 
You ALWAYS stay true to your Spouse(s)

`

How is this even a Question?

If you are married the ring does not come off unless you are not married any more.... same for engaged.


`
 
About 8 years ago, before I started seeing other people, I was swimming in a pond and lost my wedding ring in the cold water. I was dissapointed in myself, and when I got out of the water told my spouse about it-- and she pulled hers off and threw it in to join it. (ala Harold and Maude, see link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0FX_ROcNV4

Since then we have entertained getting rings now and then, but frankly, it has never quite risen to a priority. We still wear no rings today.
 
Where I live people are less obsessed with wedding rings I guess... I've had people (co workers who've known me and husband for years ) suddenly say: 'You're married?'
I keep my ring on at all times. It's a narrow golden band on my ring finger. There have been times when I've been using that hand in .. ehm.. some sort of activity :D with another guy and I looked at it and sort of smiled at the irony.

I'm proud of my marriage. I talk about my husband. Why would I not want to wear that ring? If a stranger approached me and was interested in me, I'd tell him soon enough that I am already in a relationship even if he did not notice the ring.
 
I have never thought twice about wearing my rings. Although my husband doesn't wear his ever. I like my rings and I find it unlikely that I would mesh well with anyone who wasn't ok with the physical reminder that I'm married. It's a part of who I am.

Although funny story, my daughter (6) asked me one day why I wear a wedding ring but her dad doesn't. I told her that I was the only one who was married. I think I confused her a bit.
 
I've never known a ring to dissuade any man! ;)

I never notice rings myself (female), neither does MrS (male) - but we have never been "looking for" someone to date - always just making friends with no particular agenda in mind.

Dude reports that he always noticed them and didn't even approach women who were wearing a wedding ring. Now that he is in a relationship with a married woman, he thinks he may have been missing out on a lot...:D

JaneQ
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dude reports that he always noticed them and didn't even approach women who were wearing a wedding ring. Now that he is in a relationship with a married woman, he thinks he may have been missing out on a lot...:D

JaneQ

That is more of what I was concerned with is being out & possibly meeting someone. I had a thread about my only option of meeting is on-line sites & there was a suggestion I should be able to meet potentials in person too. Which got me thinking about my ring & the possibility it could dissuade someone from finding an interest in just talking to me. I mean they wouldn't know anything about me except I'm married.

I've only taken it off in the last few months of my pregnancies due to it cutting into my swollen finger. Otherwise I wear it proudly.
 
Last edited:
I met Murf in person not online... so today when he called be before work I asked if he would have approached me if I was wearing a ring. He said no.
 
I met Murf in person not online... so today when he called be before work I asked if he would have approached me if I was wearing a ring. He said no.

Dagferi - so when you met Murf, you did not have your ring on? Where did the two of you meet? Or if you have a thread on this, let me know.

Thanks!;)
 
No did not have a ring on when i met Murf. I had lost so much weight my ring just fell off so I have not worn it in 2 years. It means too much to me to risk losing it and it can not be resized.

I have always been into classic and antique cars. My husband is not. We met through the car scene. We ran across each other at a few car cruises and he fell hard. The local cruise has a dinner stop amongst others where you get to socialize. After the third one he asked me out on a date. Then came the hard conversation .. Long story short he decided he wanted me in his life.

Been together almost 16 months.
 
Everyone I have ever dated-and everyone that Maca has dated-we met with rings on.

He NEVER takes his off.
I don't wear mine most of the time-but always when I dress up or go out to school.
But-even if someone approached me thinking I wasn't married-they wouldn't make it 2 minutes before they knew I was married. They wouldn't make it more than 5 minutes in conversation with me before they knew I also have a boyfriend and kids.

I asked GG and he said there's no way he would take his rings off to date. No way no how.
Maca won't take his off even for work (and he's not supposed to wear it at work because its a life/safety risk as an electrician)
 
Keeping it on

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I love my ring. It actually is a replacement due to a car accident back in 1999. We were hit head on and my left hand hit the windshield, diamond lost among the broken glass & the medic had to cut it off before I lost my finger. I honestly can't remember the name of the stone, but it changes colors from blue, green to purple on a silver band. I prefer it over the original ring.

I feel for me it's staying on. I don't do bars except 2-3 times a year. And if I have a date, then she/he will already know I'm married.
 
We leave ours on too, ive told my spouse he can remove his for dating if he wanted to, but as some of you have expressed hes said he would just say he was married right quick anyway. I like wearing mine cause i picked it out 12 years ago and it makes me think of DH. I also wear a turqoise ring from Nudge (bf) almost every day, which isnt like wearing a wedding ring but still like to think about him :)
 
The only time I don't wear my rings away from home is when I forget them over the kitchen sink-ironically that happened today for the first time since we married 1 month ago.
J doesn't wear a ring because Bug hid it from him. I've never seen L take hers off except for dishes and showering. B occasionally forgets where she put hers at night but typically wears them all day every day. I am right there with LR; I cannot have most conversations without mentioning B and if you want to get to know me well, it won't be long until you find out about J & L. These people are an integral part of my world and I wouldn't have it any other way.
 
When you go on a date, do you keep your wedding ring on if you are married? What about when just out in public (grocery store, the park) where you might meet a stranger that say "hi"?

I've been thinking about this for the last few days. I'd almost feel naked without it on. I just don't know what my protocol should be. Any past experiences anyone can share with me?

I only take mine off when I'm doing activities where it can be lost or damaged.

There is no "should" for the protocol you choose to follow. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy is what you "should" do.

Hmm.. random thoughts about wearing it and the effect that would have on potential dates... I personally can't be bothered to "initiate" anyone into polyamory. As far as I'm concerned, someone who would see my ring and think of me as "off-limits" is not worth my time. Similarly, someone who completely rejects marriage and what it represents probably won't understand my lifestyle and we'd have some pretty insurmountable challenges in dating... so taking off my ring to not scare them off is similarly a waste of time. My marriage takes up a lot of my available time. School takes up most of the rest. So for me, the ideal partners are also married or at least seriously committed, because they won't be relying on me for their main source of companionship. Since married poly folk are less likely to be scared off by a wedding ring, it's probably more of a built-in filter than a detriment...
 
so all of you are already talking about wedding rings here....my spouse has a date on thursday, his OKC account plainly states we are poly but he wants to broach it with her in person. I suggested maybe he not wear his ring...thoughts?
 
A different thought

Everyone on here appears to be concerned whether the person they're looking to date is okay with their ring or not....would you really want to give the idea to anyone interested in you that you were single?

To me, the question is, what about outside parties? If you're on a date, and you're wearing a ring, and your partner isn't, it looks like you're cheating. Do you care about that? Possibly not, I'm not saying you should either way.

But to me, that should really be the only concern. Anyone you're dating, who has a problem with seeing the ring, probably isn't the best fit, anyway. Like the spouse with the date....his date has the right to know, from the start, that he's married, and he should really find out, from the start, if she can handle this (if she can't handle seeing evidence of another partner, is she really cut out for poly?). Why deceive her about it when you don't have to?
 
Back
Top