Originally Posted by london
And that's the key thing. The way I see it, making a rule or guideline about how much it is appropriate for your partner to see their new partner shouldn't be necessary. Hopefully, I would have chosen a partner who understands that NRE isn't an excuse to forget your obligations to your existing relationships.
If your partner meets someone who wants to spend so much time with them that maintaining other relationships or responsibilities is difficult, it should be them who negotiates that with their new partner because of their desire to maintain all the relationships they have, not because we have a rule that they have to abide by. I shouldn't need to enforce a boundary that quantifies what is too much. My partner is in our relationship too, they should know what will fuck with our shit and take steps to avoid it.
Well, nowhere did I say I (or we, me, my gf, my bf) had a rule or guideline about overnights, just a preference based on practicalities, needs, desires for closeness and alone time, comfort levels, so we are on the same page.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 42, M (dating since Oct 2015)
and a few more casual relationships