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  #11  
Old 08-07-2013, 01:50 AM
TRBG TRBG is offline
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Sorry for the tangent but is it just me or do only shallow people say things like "deep down"?

Last edited by TRBG; 08-07-2013 at 01:54 AM.
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  #12  
Old 08-07-2013, 03:22 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
Sounds like he has quite the ego
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Originally Posted by Flowerchild View Post
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
You are acknowledging that he does have an ego, so apparently you are used to dealing it. This could be a small thing and something easy to blow off- knowing "that's just like something he would think and say"! Or- something like this could be the straw that broke the camels' back.

If you are in love with him and feel confident about your future together, then it is probably one of the laughable things to blow off.....something typical that he would say.

But if you are not in love with him and /or not sure about your future together then something like this could end up being an issue and make you question things.
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  #13  
Old 08-07-2013, 03:40 PM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
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If you are in love with him and feel confident about your future together, then it is probably one of the laughable things to blow off.....something typical that he would say.
I do love him. I guess I was venting as much as anything else; I don't usually mind, but sometimes he's particularly egotistical comments irk me.
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Old 08-08-2013, 02:54 AM
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I do love him. I guess I was venting as much as anything else; I don't usually mind, but sometimes he's particularly egotistical comments irk me.
I get that! I thought I was picking that up in your post! There are times when I just overlook things like that- let the guy pump up his own ego for a while- after all- this too shall pass, right? And (I don't know about you) but my guy has to put up with some of my ego stuff too.

On afternoon, we were at a festival and briefly hooked up with one of my guy friends and his wife. I am sexual with the guy and my SO really likes the guy, but my SO doesn't like the wife at all. I went off for about 15 minutes to visit with the couple and when I sat back down my SO said something about how stuck up the wife is. I went on to brag that they said they were going to invite me to their house to spend some time with the two of them. And I said it in a very bratty way. It was tacky of me and it hurt my SO,s feelings. It was my attitude that was hurtful.
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Old 08-08-2013, 04:25 AM
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AlbertaBea AlbertaBea is offline
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Originally Posted by Flowerchild View Post
So, my SO was talking about how his other SO is jealous, sometimes, of the fact that he wants anyone but her. And, today, he and I were talking, and he tells me how he knows that deep down, I really wish he wanted me above all other women.

I really think I don't....and I'm not looking for ways to convince him...but the weird thing, is he's okay with this. He says that's normal for women, and that we're all like that.

I honestly disagree with him, and when he says stuff like that, I usually reply with something along the lines of he's too annoying to deal with 24/7.

Should I be concerned that my poly boyfriend thinks I wish he were monogamous?
A couple of months ago one of my three boyfriends started being a jerk because he felt like we were "too monogamous". He knew I had two other men in my life but the reality of how much energy I put into splitting up my attention wasn't a reality for him. His language and behavior began to hint at verbal abuse and raised a red flag. I couldn't find a way to rationalize his perspective and my interest in him just died one day. I cancelled our future plans and we abruptly stopped talking. We've run into each other at parties and are on good terms. It took breaking up to get it through to him that I wasn't angling for the girlfriend role he was anxious about so we're exactly where we need to be - platonic.

I don't know all the details of your situation, and it seems like you're aware of this guys flaws. It's worth putting up your red flag about chauvinistic behavior in polyamory. Sometimes people just aren't on the same page.
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