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Old 08-07-2013, 01:59 AM
NowIKnow NowIKnow is offline
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 14

Originally Posted by Petunia View Post
When you think of someone special in your life as "my husband", "my boyfriend", "my wife", "my girlfriend", "my lover", (insert appropriate label) does it elicit feelings of possessiveness, as in "s/he's mine," or connectivity, as in this person is someone of value in my life and I am connected to them in this special way?

If you feel possessiveness due to these labels, do you chose to use other terms that carry less meaning to change your perspective? Such as, "the wo/man that I'm married to" or "the person I'm dating"?

I recently had someone tell me I should ponder this as he felt I was using the term "my husband" possessively in my thinking which made me feel bad and has led to this examination.
In "my opinion"(possessive, it belongs to me) it should really not matter. How else are you going to refer to a friend, dare I say..."of yours'? No other way than to say "my friend". Sure it's possessive but should in no way connote ownership.

It all depends on the inflection also. For example:

I didn't say he stole the money.

I wasn't the one that said he stole the money.

I didn't say he stole the money.

I didn't say he was the one that stole the money but I did say someone else stole the money.

I didn't say he stole the money.

I didn't say he stole the money but I did say he stole something.

So I guess it all depends on what your inflection was when you were talking. If you said something to such as, "I want eveyone to know that is my husband," versus "I want everyone to know that is my husband," with the latter showing endearment, yes you may be using the word "my" possessively.
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