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  #11  
Old 08-06-2013, 12:43 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
In fact, looking to do team dating, where a committed couple want to "share" a woman together, is looked down upon by experienced polyamorists, gay, bi, pansexual or stramiddle.

Problem solved.
Men.. Not entirely true. I know my fair share of successful team dating. Its a horrible phrase since it implies a level of competition.

And haha at integrated with each other. Sorry on my phone quoting is annoying. But that awesome

I am in a long term quad. The two men (I am one) could probably say they love each other like brothers and and women are both hi. We both were couples dating and successful. However we ensure our expectations are not equal.. (Not every relationship is romantically the same) and we ensure we respect everyone ever involved. Simple really but I find in general poly people talk a lot about communication but lack the respect to seriously enjoy a relationship for what it is.
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  #12  
Old 08-06-2013, 01:04 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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"Stramiddle?"

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I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
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  #13  
Old 08-06-2013, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
I am in a long term quad. The two men (I am one) could probably say they love each other like brothers and and women are both hi. We both were couples dating and successful.
Are all of the members of your quad romantically/sexually involved with one another? If not, I clearly don't know what that term means (or no one else seems to, I can't decide which is true).
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  #14  
Old 08-06-2013, 01:51 PM
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Are all of the members of your quad romantically/sexually involved with one another? If not, I clearly don't know what that term means (or no one else seems to, I can't decide which is true).
I was reading around trying to figure out what it is that I am missing when it comes to identifying what a quad-triad relationship is. One thing I found talks about it as if it is a spectrum. Like, a vee and a triad are the same relationship setup only vee is at one end of the spectrum and triad is at the other with the connection between the ends being stronger or weaker.

That essentially means that my joking triad with my sister is a legit usage of the word lol
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  #15  
Old 08-06-2013, 02:32 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Are all of the members of your quad romantically/sexually involved with one another? If not, I clearly don't know what that term means (or no one else seems to, I can't decide which is true).
No.. I just can't be bothered to type anything more than quad. hahah I don't feel like say W.. or double v.. quad is just easier and considering we are a cohabitating, co income family of 4 coparenting 2 kids with 2 more on the way. I think I can safely say quad and not worry about the poly police knocking on my door wondering about my relationship structure.. there are enough people worrying about relationship structure labels that I don't need to think about it.

@mag sorry about that, typing from a wee lil phone can really screw with my quoting.. haha it definitely wasn't intentional.

Quote:
I was reading around trying to figure out what it is that I am missing when it comes to identifying what a quad-triad relationship is. One thing I found talks about it as if it is a spectrum. Like, a vee and a triad are the same relationship setup only vee is at one end of the spectrum and triad is at the other with the connection between the ends being stronger or weaker.
I used to joke that a triad is never an equal triangle, that it is more like a scalene. No matter how hard people try, relationships aren't always equal. My quad is very similar with several relationships in one section, all of them not equal romantically but definitely not without merit. The strength of the overall individual relationships may be equal as is the respect involved in maintaining them, but the romantic relationships, specifically, are completely different.

The reality is, we don't even think in terms of poly. We are two couples who have merged into one family and happily live our relationships as they are. Decisions, life changes, careers, etc are all made just like traditional monogamous couples. We are even looking at purchasing a house. Potentially..

Sort of off topic, I do keep joking that the 4 of us should start looking for a quadracorn.. we were both semi successful unicorn hunters and we both dated as couples successfully as well, so it could be interesting.. of course, who the hell has time or energy for that.. haha
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  #16  
Old 08-06-2013, 02:51 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Ah, to see the word "scalene" in conversation...

For me, now that my partner is dating someone, whose husband is dating my metamour, and OBTW, the wife and hubby have kinda-sorta had some fun time together with my metamour while my partner is absolutely not interested in that at all (at least at the moment), I hear you on the "WTF is THIS geometric structure?"

Maybe I'll call this new thing a rhombus with a stick poking out the corner. Or maybe "relationship spaghetti" is more accurate at this point.
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Chops (previously known as 'P'): partner and best friend. Poly. In LTRs with me and Xena, and dating Noa.
Xena (previously known as M1): My metamour, Poly. Also in an LTR with Chops. Dating Noa and some others.
Noa (previously AG): Dating Chops and Xena (individually).

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  #17  
Old 08-06-2013, 02:57 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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I would like to see the word "obtuse" used in conversation more often as well.

The word "gradient" would also be nice.

And the other day, i found out that i'd been defining the word "prism" much too narrowly, so i have changed the way i think about that (HELLO to all of you who think i think i'm perfect. I am NOT perfect, but some people are less imperfect than others).
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  #18  
Old 08-06-2013, 02:58 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
Are all of the members of your quad romantically/sexually involved with one another? If not, I clearly don't know what that term means (or no one else seems to, I can't decide which is true).
For the record and strictly speaking. You are correct. We would not be considered a quad.. (just to clarify hahah).. my labelling of it is from sheer laziness of not caring about the label.
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  #19  
Old 08-06-2013, 03:02 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
For the record and strictly speaking. You are correct. We would not be considered a quad.. (just to clarify hahah).. my labelling of it is from sheer laziness of not caring about the label.


So who is having sex with whom? Each male with both females? Each female with both males? The two females with each other? But not the two males?

I'm just trying to understand what IS because so far the description has been mostly about what it is not.
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  #20  
Old 08-06-2013, 04:57 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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So who is having sex with whom? Each male with both females? Each female with both males? The two females with each other? But not the two males?

I'm just trying to understand what IS because so far the description has been mostly about what it is not.
Only the guys don't have sex with each other.
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