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  #141  
Old 08-02-2013, 03:28 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Unless the new guy has something awesome going that is about to expire, and i cannot imagine what that could be if i were you, then this is someone i would um, WAIT a while before getting too involved with them. Unless you are down for some drama, mama.
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  #142  
Old 08-02-2013, 03:40 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Unless the new guy has something awesome going that is about to expire, and i cannot imagine what that could be if i were you, then this is someone i would um, WAIT a while before getting too involved with them. Unless you are down for some drama, mama.
So you are just confirming what I already said:

Quote:
I am wary about getting started with him while he is in this state of confusion and upset. He said, he just wants to "get back in the saddle" ... I will see what happens in the coming weeks.
But thanks for looking out for me. It's disappointing, for sure, to have this development. He seems to understand why I feel cautious now.

BTW, I kinda hate calling people's life issues "drama" unless it's confirmed that they seek violent negative emotions and want to cause pain just for the fun or addiction of it. I do not think that is the case here, but again, I am being cautious.

In other news, Ginger and I have had good talks about his new interest, Mischa. As GG would say, I asked for "reassure" and got it a-plenty. Good thing is, Ginger is not one to say "I love you" much, but he's said it a few times since his date with her. Ha!

He came by yesterday and after our usual clinch (rawr), helped miss pixi hang shelves and a rod in the third bedroom, which is to be her dressing room, while I napped (still weak from being sick). Apparently that was a nice bonding time for them... after I got up and the job was completed, we 3 sat on the couch, and after a while Ginger started kissing her and it turned into a nice 3way makeout/grope session, which has not happened since New Years. Yay!
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me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #143  
Old 08-02-2013, 03:55 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Yes, i am confirming what you said - after all i did read the whole thing but i am on the ipod so i could not be arsed to quote things - but with the caveat that "unless he has something awesome that is about to expire".

And as far as "drama" goes, i am using the term in a far less circumscribed and judgmental way than you would. I believe that anyone can "have drama", even if they are not the originator of it, and why would someone knowingly take that on unless they were getting something out of it that made it worthwhile.

So, go for it, if that be the case. I am not trying to tell you what to do.
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  #144  
Old 08-02-2013, 05:24 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Yeah, I know you're using it in the common 2013 way. It's just a pet peeve of mine. I find it's overused and can seem belittling of people's pain.

He called me a bit ago. Says his wife has been with her gf as long as they've been together. 17 years. Seems the gf wants to get married! Is all enamored of being in a lesbian marriage. Now, he likes this woman, they are friends. Why is she suddenly acting like a cowgirl? What would this do to their 3 kids, for his wife to move out, in with the gf, divorce and remarry? Wife is confused, and they've made a counseling appt.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #145  
Old 08-02-2013, 05:30 PM
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As to whether I will "get something out of" this new person, well, I wouldn't have seen him at all if I didn't think he had potential. Will wait til things simmer down a bit more, they have a couple counseling sessions under their belt, etc.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #146  
Old 08-02-2013, 05:43 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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And of course i didn't mean that in a gold-digging way, i meant it pragmatically. We all "get something" from our relationships, but people are often taught that it is noble to give, but to "get" ought to be at the discretion of the giver.
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  #147  
Old 08-04-2013, 01:59 PM
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Mags, I think you and I often find ourselves in situations with men who need healing in various ways (relating/sexual/emotional) in their lives. It's that medicine woman/temple prostitute thing we've talked about, where we can give of ourselves so easily and men appreciate it, glom onto it, but then once the man is healed, he goes off on his way to live his life without us. So, I see nothing wrong with getting involved with someone who is a little broken or in need of whatever soothing/understanding/healing you can give, but as long as you protect yourself and not hope for him to stick around. KWIM?
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  #148  
Old 08-04-2013, 04:05 PM
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Thanks Cindie. Yes, I am a nurturer/healer by nature, kids, gardens, animals, other adults, I am drawn to nourish and protect.

Nice thing about Ginger, despite his physical health issues, he is very strong emotionally and physically. Yes, he has allergies, yes, he got bit by a disease carrying tick 2 summers in a row. Otherwise, he is strong, stable, balanced, self aware. He calms MY anxieties!

More excitement around here. After a year and a half of eqilibrium, Ginger has the Mischa interest. Also, he is pursuing a man (he's so laid back, the pursuit is rather gentle), but their planned dates keep getting messed up and they keep missing each other. Happened again last night. He's frustrated. He's never been with a guy but really wants to be.

Adding to this, my little miss pixi... well, she's been Domming a guy her age online for 2 years and he's finally agreed to meet. He's here now, down in our girl cave, and he's nervous as hell. Goodness knows what they are doing down there... He didn't want to meet me, so I ran and hid in a bedroom when he rang our bell! hehe. I am going to go over to Ginger's in a bit. Subbie boy might be here til 5, and he got here at 11am.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #149  
Old 08-05-2013, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Thanks Cindie. Yes, I am a nurturer/healer by nature, kids, gardens, animals, other adults, I am drawn to nourish and protect.

Nice thing about Ginger . . .
Yeah, I have the sense that Ginger is strong and someone who keeps going when faced with difficulties, etc., but I was actually thinking about the potential new guy who has a lot gong on with his wife and gf, when I wrote my previous post. Just saying that if you feel okay with expending that kind of energy now in your life, I see nothing wrong with going there as long as you don't expect to get too much back.
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Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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  #150  
Old 08-05-2013, 01:35 PM
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Yeah, I don't know how much I'd get from him other than good conversation and satisfying kinky sex.

Oh wait.

heh

This blog sure is living up to its name again, Simultaneous NRE. miss p's got it, I might develop it, Ginger says he never gets it but, he does. He just doesn't experience his emotions the way neurologically typical people do, so he thinks he doesn't have it for Mischa or the guy potential person, but it's there.

I've barely had time to think about my new person since miss p had her date with Subbie Boy yesterday, plus spending time with Ginger and hearing about his people. I like to hear details of my partners' new partners, because knowing more rather than less makes me feel more secure, but when I am getting details on 3 new people at once, yikes. Makes me feel kind of overwhelmed.

As we used to say on LI, it feels like Grand Central Station around here. I know it's a positive thing, both of them enjoying this rush of newness, and god knows I've been dating all along and they have been supportive of me, so I am trying hard to keep it in perspective. I am just not sure how to handle the overload. Even when I have sex with one or the other, I feel like I am absorbing both of their NRE overflows.

Yes, I've brought this up with both of them. I know and feel they both love me a lot. Still have to ride this wave.

I need to go out and breathe in nature to calm my nerves. Went to the beach on Saturday and took a long walk, and mowed the lawn yesterday.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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