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Old 02-08-2010, 07:10 AM
redsirenn's Avatar
redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 293
Default Too close to workplace?

Hey everyone,
I have a question that I am unsure about how to address myself.

a little background first:

I am currently a phd student in a relationship with someone who is not in my career field. One of my concerns with us dating other people is drama that might ensue as a result of this information coming out to my peers. I have requested that neither of us date or get involved with any of the other students in my graduate group because of this. I am with people that I will have a working relationship with for the rest of my life, and because I am so new in the field, really want to avoid roadblocks this early on - and for something that is really unrelated to my career.

The thing is, I know how people can be - not all are understanding to say the least...

My SO brought this up to me and he seems upset by the boundary request. The reason he states is because these people are friends (not all of them) and that it seems to limit our possibilities and also hides "who we are"...

The way I see it - they are more than that to me. They are my colleagues. I will probably always be friends with people I work with, and they, more than likely, will comprise the majority of said friendships simply due to shared interests, and the amount of time I spend with them.

I cannot let it go though. I don't want to even have the situation come up where we are at a party and I feel like I have to hide anything. I don't want all those people to talk if we don't hide, and I really don't want to deal with drama with people that I may have to deal with for a long time.

I just want one part of my life to be separate from my romantic relationships - That is my work, my career, etc. I enjoy knowing that the separation exists, and it allows me to relax when we are out with them and when I am at work or working on projects with those people.

Any thoughts here?
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