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Old 07-30-2013, 11:39 AM
RaatkiRani RaatkiRani is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Default A mono in love with a poly - love, respect, trust and hope

Hi everyone,

Hm I guess the title of my posts speaks for itself
I am in love and in a relationship with a wonderful man, who is poly. I consider myself helplessly mono (I really can't seem to multitask in anything in life), but I respect and admire the poly way of living, as I believe everyone must be free to express their love and live their life just the way they want.

My bf and I are trying to cope with our two different ways of living, we take small, careful steps and always try to be careful to respect each other's feelings.
It is a beautiful constructive journey, despite the immense pain that we both feel at times (me because I feel rejected/hurt, him because he knows he's hurting me and is afraid I might give up one day). What matters though, according to me, is that we maintain this beautiful honesty which has taken us so far.

I like the idea of polyamory so much that I also tried it myself at one point during my relationship with my bf. I had met this attractive guy on a long 10 h train ride to a foreign city.. We went out one night, and he was flirting, kissed me and invited me to his place. I thought I would try to see and live things with different eyes, so I agreed and spent the night with him. It was a really bad idea - I felt like I was betraying myself, I did not want to make love to him, I just wanted to escape. And I started thinking - if my bf can *want* these casual encounters, and enjoy them, then why can't I? Does it mean he doesn't love me, or that I have something wrong?

The answer I gave myself is no, it's just that I am mono and he is poly, period.

Acceptance helped a lot, and now I'm still on the same journey, wondering where it will take me. I still keep my eyes open, just like I always have - I look at men, women, open to any kind of feeling or feedback. But I don't force myself into anything.

Is anyone out there on my same boat?

I appreciate and accept any kind of comment and feedback, and would love to hear your stories
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