Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #1  
Old 07-30-2013, 06:26 AM
darkwillows darkwillows is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 10
Unhappy Funny how things change in a blink...

One day I'm thoroughly in love with N, my secondary. And then in the blink of an eye, this person changed, morphed into something awful.
My husband and his secondary K were trying to find a video that N had downloaded (N was at work) and in the process of trying to find it they came across two video files. Of N having sex without protection.

Based on the decor in the room in the video it became clear that he did this while he and K were mono. He cheated. And videotaped himself having unprotected sex with another girl. Twice. Two different girls in fact. And then kept said videos to watch later. I cannot even begin to understand the kind of person who would do such a thing.

He tried calling me the next morning after I found out but I was just so thoroughly disgusted with him, so incredibly hurt that he would cheat on K, that I couldn't say much more than "you deserve to have a 10" rusty screw shoved down your dick." Not productive, but I felt better for saying it.
And yeah, he confirmed he took the videos without either girls's consent.

What makes it even worse is I know one of the girls. She told me that he had cheated on K with her and I didn't believe her.
Having known her half my life I know she's a pathological liar so I just dismissed it as more of her drama.
He's begged for forgiveness multiple times but as I told him, there are a few transgressions that are simply unforgivable. Cheating being at the top of the list for me. And really, why cheat when you know your gf wants to be poly ?

I guess I'm just incredibly confused since I can't seem to reconcile the absolutely repugnant person who did that and the person I fell in love with.
Was the person I knew just a facade? How do I begin to forgive him? I know I'll never think of him in the same way I used to and that makes me so incredibly sad.
Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated.
Reply With Quote
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:43 AM.