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Old 02-04-2010, 03:21 AM
VernalBliss's Avatar
VernalBliss VernalBliss is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 6

Originally Posted by MrSteve View Post

I don't want to subtract or throw away what's already there, but just add to it, grow it, share it etc. and not cut things into pieces or exclude parts etc. ... Spaghetti AND meatballs, not Spaghetti OR meatballs
That's exactly what I tell them! I often tell them that all I want to do is add to their happiness and never take away from that. At times it feels that they are so worried about how I might feel that they don't focus on themselves.

Last Friday they went to the movies since I had prior plans. She kept asking about my feelings and and felt really bad they were going without me. I honestly didn't have a problem with it at all. It makes me happy that they are happy and I told her they need to focus on them too. I told her if their unit wasn't strong them we can't be strong.

It's a continued work in progress, but I find most things in life are.Thank you all for reading and offering insight. I value each and every one of your comments.

Last edited by VernalBliss; 02-04-2010 at 03:29 AM.
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Old 02-04-2010, 07:52 AM
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MrSteve MrSteve is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 19

It's nice of the consideration and interest to invite you, though it sounds from your description that she likely feels some insecurity too. Given time and more familiarity, I'd assume that would become less of an issue.

I'd also agree that it's best if people are in a relationship because they gain from and desire it and aren't using it as an escape to "run away" from something else, though it doesn't seem like that's the case (she likely wouldn't have gotten her husband involved in that case).

Like most any relationship, I'm certain it can take some investment in time and patience to pass by the growing pains and build up greater familiarity and trust, and hopefully gain something quite valuable and special ... of course I can only give you my $0.02 worth, though it appears you basically said the same with "It's a work in progress". I've found in most things that generally you get what you invest in something and that the only things I've come close to regretting in life were the opportunities I let slip past and not the ones I put myself into (whether they succeed or fail doesn't matter as much as whether or not I know I gave it my best - you can't pick the cards life hands you, but you can determine whether or not you played a good game with what you were given).

Best wishes for all of you

Last edited by MrSteve; 02-04-2010 at 07:58 AM.
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