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Old 07-23-2013, 09:43 PM
Flear Flear is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Chilliwack, BC
Posts: 85
Default the crazy feelings people have.

i've never understood lots of things, ... jealousy for one, ... maybe that puts me at a disadvantage because i don't know what it's like, i don't know how hard it is for other people to deal with, i just don't know what the deal is.

i view it as one of the many things that "your responsible for how i feel, now you had better be doing the right things so that i can be happy"

isn't jealousy that fear that your partner may be finding something in another person that you don't have ? or that they may leave you for that other person ?

my whole life (adult life anyway), i've understood one thing, the importance of wanting the people i care about to be happy. if that's with me great, i get to be a close part of their happiness. if it's with someone else, great they still get to be happy.

i don't get it that people try to say "i love you, so i have to limit you and your happiness, and you better like it, or else i'll stop wanting to be with you"

monogamy for some, sure, but when you are expecting the other person to be monogamous to you, ... i can't separate that from "i'm going to control and restrict and limit your freedom and choices"

it seems so wrong to ask here of all places, a polyamorus site "why do people choose to be in relationships like this?"

doesn't it bother anyone that for you to be happy your telling the other person they can't be happy ?

i just don't get it, i never have.

---

the only loss i could say i feel is while i'm not comfortable telling other people "hey, check me out, even if your not comfortable with the idea" and that's been rather limiting. i'm sure there are lots of people that would have been great partners in my life were passed up because i'm not comfortable telling them to love me.
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