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  #151  
Old 07-20-2013, 10:01 AM
Avaofthedark Avaofthedark is offline
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I can definently relate to your post! I am also in a triad and the couple I am dating live in one house with their kids and I live in mine. Were supposed to have equal sleeping time with him but she sleeps wit him mon-fri and my days are sat and sun although he rarely comes to me on my time. I can definently understand your frustration about the situation. I really hope things work out between you three in terms of figuring out a much more fair solution
When you do I may need your advice haha
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  #152  
Old 02-28-2014, 07:24 PM
JustUs JustUs is offline
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Default Sleeping arrangement - Question

So, my wife's boyfriend of four years just moved in with us about 2 months ago. Their relationship had been a long distance one for those for years. He would visit 3-4 times a year 2 to 4 weeks at a time....
He and I get along great, so there is no issue there. My wife and I have been together 17 years and of course for those 17 years, have always slept in the same room together.
But back to the original question. How does my wife decide who she will sleep with on any given night. Do poly triads have a system on deciding what nights the "hinge of a V" sleeps in whose room?
Currently, my wife and I share a bedroom and he has a room of his own. I am completely fine with her sleeping in his room on certain nights and in our room on certain nights. Just curious how others have worked it out.
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  #153  
Old 02-28-2014, 08:34 PM
Sandy2u Sandy2u is offline
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We have a schedule. I have 2 nights with her, 2 with him, 2 by myself, and 1 with all of us, on a weekly basis. We would all spend every night together but our kids are still young and seek us out in the middle of the night.
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  #154  
Old 03-01-2014, 12:03 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Honestly you just decide based on respecting everyones needs. My gf doesn't need as much bed time with me, so we try to sleep togeher 2 nights a week. However sometimes, due to travel, colds, etc.. that doesn't work out. Some weeks, rarely, its 3 nights.

Most of the time we wing it, and don't have expectations because life just gets in the way sometimes.
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  #155  
Old 03-01-2014, 12:11 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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We don't have a schedule. I always sleep in the bed (we only have one - it is king-size). The boys are free to join me, or not depending on their desires and schedules. I sleep in the "middle" and they have their own sides. Anyone who doesn't want to be crowded can sleep on the couch.

When Lotus is over, she is free to sleep in the bed as well. We usually end up as MFMF when there are four in the bed. MrS always sleeps on his side and next to me. I kick a lot when I'm sleeping so Lotus uses Dude as a "buffer"...but I think she likes to be in the middle after I get up.

JaneQ
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  #156  
Old 03-01-2014, 02:19 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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I prefer to sleep alone for the most part. Richard and I sleep together one to two nights a week. Lee occasionally spends the night with me- about four times a year. I also sleep with a straight female friend of mine when she joins me at the beach which is starting to be 3 to 4 nights a month. Although she and I play together (as in swinger activity) and we are sexual with one another when with men or couples but we are not sexual when we are alone together however we do enjoy sleeping together. She has gotten to be an important person in my life!

Richard sleeps with one of his partners about two nights a week and his other partner about twice a month.

It is good to get feedback from others, however what works for you guys may be totally different from anything anyone else is doing! That's one of the things I love about poly- it is totally customizable!
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  #157  
Old 03-01-2014, 02:57 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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There was never a schedule. I slept where I was comfortable and wanted to. When I was at home, I slept in my bed. My career meant not sleeping in my bed most nights, so I took the opportunity to sleep there and next to my DH. My spouse was strongly opposed to my ex being in our bed, so it never happened. If she slept over, she stayed in one of the guest bedrooms. I usually stayed until she went to sleep but never the whole night. I doubt this would work for others.

Idealist is right. The beauty is that it is customisable. In your household, it might change every night or week. It is one of those fluid things. Hell, I say just go with it.
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  #158  
Old 03-01-2014, 04:03 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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I split my time between two houses. On the rare occasion Murf is spending the night in the home I share with Butch I sleep with Murf. I sleep much better with Murf than Butch despite my being with Butch longer.
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  #159  
Old 03-01-2014, 04:58 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I don't sleep in GG's room at night if Maca is home. But, Maca leaves at 5:30am for work and GG doesn't even get home from work until almost 2am. So I will go to GG's room and cuddle with him in the morning after Maca goes to work.
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  #160  
Old 03-01-2014, 08:00 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I didn't realize how many people don't sleep with their live-in partners. Hmm. Another one of those "I've been doing it because society told me to" things. I'm used to sleeping alone because Gralson usually works out of town, but when he's home for extended periods I start to miss having the bed to myself. I wish we had another bed because he can be a thrasher and I sometimes have trouble falling asleep. Usually not the end of the world since I just sleep longer in the morning, but sometimes I have to be up early and be coherent and it would be nice to have an alternative. Something to think about when we get around to buying a bigger house...
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