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Old 07-19-2013, 06:25 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Default Friends and lovers

My life is rich with relationships. There are challenges, sure, but my overall experience is that of abundance.

I can’t make time to stay in touch with everyone close to me as much as I would like. This is never going to change, unless I consciously cull my ‘friends list’, which I’m not prepared to do. I’d rather adjust my own expectations of how much time I can spend with people, how often. My sprawling backyard of friends and lovers flourishes at times effortlessly.

I heard an idea that strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. (Of course, they are also potential enemies, acquaintances, etc. I like my glass full – half of water, half of air.) Another quote I read, on a t-shirt, said: “a world without strangers.” Imagine, no one alienated by difference. Strange, diverse, but never estranged. My kind of utopia.

I don’t quite understand the distinction some people have between friends and lovers. Is it about the sex? Intimacy? Romance? Is closeness a kind of skin, that you’re either outside of, or broken through? Then what about ears, nostrils, assholes, vaginas… I can get inside you, friends!

But seriously, the compartments don’t really work. At least, not always. Categories (fuck buddies, friends with benefits, partners, lovers etc) are useful short-hand, can help us discuss and compare and understand, but the complex taxonomy of relationships is just a scheme, a generalisation, that can never replace the wondrous chaos of each specific connection.
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