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  #11  
Old 07-17-2013, 11:19 PM
Flear Flear is offline
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i've never had something challenging like this before.

looking to expand my family like this. well children do that, but that's in a different way.

i've had easier times trying to teach myself calculus, till progress was too slow and i was too impatient, ... seems about where most of my failing to learn come from, i'm too impatient to get to the end.

can't do that with people.

can learn all kinds of stuff on my own, can learn numbers, and languages and psychology, computer programming (even the more basic ones like assembly), history, environmental & biological interactions ... all kinds of things.

finding & meeting people who can say "ya, i get you" ... yup, can do that online, :/

in person, not so much it seems.

i'm not used to not knowing what i'm doing.
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  #12  
Old 07-18-2013, 01:08 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Are you in the autism spectrum, by any chance?
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  #13  
Old 07-18-2013, 02:03 PM
Flear Flear is offline
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not that i know of, never been tested.
might explain a few things, ... but doesn't mean i have to stay there... 'here' if i am.

Edit:
actually that's something to look up.
never thought about it other than an odd curiosity.

Last edited by Flear; 07-18-2013 at 02:45 PM.
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  #14  
Old 07-18-2013, 03:27 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Well i am not a medical professional, but what you describe is a common thing among people with autism/Asperger's. Being able to teach yourself things and learn languages and add numbers but have difficulties/issues around people in person face to face. And the way you seem fixated on patterns and symmetry is also characteristic.
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  #15  
Old 07-18-2013, 03:52 PM
Flear Flear is offline
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-Pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS)
from wiki, i could say it's mild if that's accurate at all

if i do fall into that category i won't get tested, ... then it just becomes a label forever applied to me afterwards that will hold me back anytime someone looks at it.

yes, i do fall into the category of being less than comfortable around new people, off-set by being able to grasp things (intellectually) faster

i can push myself in the area i am lacking, i know i have to anyway.
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  #16  
Old 07-18-2013, 08:46 PM
london london is offline
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I don't know. I think I get passed by because of autism, but then I have two great partners right now who obviously accepted it.

Oh and, the vast amount of poly people I know who have healthy and successful relationships use the terms "primary" and "secondary". The thing is, however, they only use this to describe levels of entanglement. For example, the person/people they live with, maybe have kids with, share financial responsibilities with etc are what they refer to as primary relationships and the things without those practical entanglements, they call secondary relationships. It has nothing to do with who is most important to them, or who they love more - it simply describes the relationship you have with someone. Don't get me wrong, to some people, it definitely dictates priority, but you usually know that by the other things they say, eg "I don't want kissing outside of our primary relationship because kissing is just for us". They use these words for convenience more than anything. You will get some Holier Than Thou (which is funny because they are usually Athiests) people who say using these terms at all means you practice "bad poly" or "less enlightened poly" but the fact remains that many of us want those "normal things" and having an easy way to describe that kind of relationship is just that, easy.

Last edited by london; 07-18-2013 at 09:03 PM.
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  #17  
Old 07-18-2013, 09:32 PM
Flear Flear is offline
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the world has a long way to go before people start just accepting people will love whomever they wish to love in whatever way they're comfortable with.

following Mono's "poly Vignettes" thread.
from other things i'm reading as well, i think it's a split between the old generation set in their ways about proper love, and newer folk being curious even if they won't do anything themselves.

still leaves lots of room for improvement, especially when you hear how many people cheat and won't tell their significant other because of their own urges and fearing their partner would freak.
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