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  #81  
Old 07-15-2013, 10:22 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Primal leaves on Monday. So Wednesday we are talking about seeing Les Mis at the Muny (and then I'm going again two days later with my parents and Woodsmith) and then Sunday heading down to Johnson Shut Ins.

Happy girl. AND I do fire again on Saturday. The owners of the venue I did it at last time liked me so much they asked the producer to have me perform at their anniversary party.
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Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #82  
Old 07-16-2013, 12:56 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
Primal leaves on Monday. So Wednesday we are talking about seeing Les Mis at the Muny (and then I'm going again two days later with my parents and Woodsmith) and then Sunday heading down to Johnson Shut Ins.
Hey, I've been to Johnson's Shut-Ins! I was assisting on a project involving the video installations in the visitors' center. Was there while they were rebuilding the park after the mountaintop reservoir burst and destroyed so much of the land and plant life. They took us up the mountainside (to the top!) and we walked around inside the broken reservoir. Then they gave us tours of all the buildings and grounds, and I got to watch a controlled burn of a large piece of land. Lovely place! I bet the swimming there is very nice, especially if it's as hot there as it's been on the east coast. Have fun!
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  #83  
Old 07-16-2013, 12:59 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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I've lived not far from the shut-ins my whole life and have never been there.
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Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #84  
Old 07-16-2013, 01:05 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Today I get my phone activated. Not having one this past week was really trying on me. Like I stated earlier I thrive off of being able to contact the boys throughout the day.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #85  
Old 07-17-2013, 01:46 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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First doing a name change. Primal has stated he has kind of a dual personality. Himself and his dragon aspect Sevendath. He's stated that with me both of those aspects are together and both love me so I'm going to start referring to him as Seven.

Moving on. There's something off at home. I don't know what. Lamian doesn't look well, which was confirmed by her and Seven, so I asked if it had to do with her allergist appointment/shots. Was told no. So I know something is wrong but don't know what or if there is anything I can do to help.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #86  
Old 07-19-2013, 01:40 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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So a very angst filled post to come.

Recap: Seven and I got officially together May of last year. We were sleeping together since that March. Originally it was always planned to just be something short term and casual. But you know what they say about making plans in regard to emotions and feelings and love. Recently we started (or to be more accurate put a name to) an M/s aspect of our relationship. I say the put a name to because when we started our relationship we still had the emotional/mental submission with guiding, teaching, training and tasks; it was only more recently that the service and physical sides were added.
I mentioned earlier that Tuesday Lamian had seemed off. Apparently earlier that day she had made an error of judgment in regards to her medications. And when Seven got home the two of them got into a fight. She said the reason she had done what she did was because of our relationship. She told him that we didnít have to end our relationship just any aspect of M/s (apparently with more venom than he thought possible) in it. Seven told her that doing so would end our relationship because the two were so intermingled. At which point she made it clear that if we didnít she was gone. She doesnít understand why she canít make him happy like I can and I guess feels that if that wasnít there heíd need her more to be happy.

So I pick him up from work last night and get told about this. Lots of crying ensued. Went to a park to cry and cuddle while trying to figure things out. I end up saying things I thought were bitchy (Seven told me they werenít). One was going off on Lamianís hypocrisy in the fact that there has been numerous times that Seven has hit his breaking point to things need to change or heís gone and not only do they not change but in relation to the submission thing she wonít share it with him and not only has a D/s thing with Darkeyes she has started playing with other people as well. The next was how long is it going to be before she pulls this shit again but now because we are still together.

Get home eventually with more cuddling and crying and pain on both parts. Have sex and the two of us afterwards break down. He couldnít keep from doing any aspects of domination and I started bawling due to the fight to not beg/plead for him, not call him master, or not address myself as his. For a moment the two of us feel like this means that we are over. Lots more crying and pain. I ask questions ranging from how am I supposed to act around him as a friend or roommate when I want to just be with him (he doesnít know because he feels the same way) to just the simple why (because otherwise heís losing his wife). He starts talking about the fact that this just proves that he is meant to have an unfulfilled life in which he is never happy. Finally after that I do beg and plead that the two of us just pretend to not have that desire for each other (because not only is the M/s an integral part of our relationship we learned those roles and how the two of us have interacted are integral parts of ourselves) because I would rather pretend to not be something I am and keep him than lose an aspect of a relationship, him, and a part of myself.

So now we are going to try and figure out how to do things. Heís talking about seeing the therapist I saw for a while, Lamian saw for a while, and he saw for a while to get her perspective and then maybe the three of us meeting with her. Until then Iíve told him that if Lamian is around I canít even trust myself to be affectionate towards him because I donít want her to take it wrong. So Iím a mess. And I asked him earlier how he is and was told that he is resigned. Iím not sure what he means by that.

Still together, still going to the shut-ins. Just no idea on anything else. I generally hate being in limbo in regards to relationships but I'd rather have that than nothing at the moment.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #87  
Old 07-19-2013, 03:00 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Trying to figure out my limits/needs on the next probably step. One of the two couples moving out (because Lamian can't handle the relationship I doubt it'll survive if we live together).

I need to know that I will get two days a week with Seven and at least one of them is a weekend day neither of us works. Otherwise it's clear I'm just being seen as a toy (if not by him, then by her in relation to him) and I won't be in that relationship.

If the above is okay then things can stay how they are I think. If not I'm going to have to figure out someway to find someone that will be able to give me the dynamic I need. And I don't trust easy, the reason this worked so well was because we were friends.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #88  
Old 07-19-2013, 04:12 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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What about a compromise? Maybe you and Seven can agree to not show any of your M/s elements publicly or in front of her, but still be allowed to have it in private.

Then, of course, she needs to let him know what needs she has that she feels are not being met by him. However, I fail to see how she determined that just a M/s relationship between you two is the factor in that, and not any kind of relationship. It sounds more like envy. I think it's a great idea to all go to therapy together.
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"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "
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  #89  
Old 07-19-2013, 05:12 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
What about a compromise? Maybe you and Seven can agree to not show any of your M/s elements publicly or in front of her, but still be allowed to have it in private.
That was what we did when she first mentioned she was unsure as to how she felt about it and asked to not have to see it.

At the core though even during that fight she brought up the fact that she's not okay with the fact that we are together and if it wasn't for the fact she thought he'd make her end things with Darkeyes she'd not have us together at all.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #90  
Old 07-19-2013, 11:32 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Wondering how many days I'm going to feel like a mess. Wondering how long it's going to be until I actually say even "hi" to Lamian. Hating not feeling able to even give him a hug if we aren't alone.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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