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  #11  
Old 07-06-2013, 03:24 AM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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We don't limit each others contact with others.
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  #12  
Old 07-06-2013, 03:54 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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I think there's not a problem to ask for not texting during certain times...somebody agreeing is not a sure thing, but to me text is no different than the phone. When I'm on a scheduled date night with my husband, we don't text/phone others during, and if we get a text we dont answer - we tell people to call if its actually important. Same goes with my other partners, if we get texts we mostly ignore them unless the other person goes off to the bathroom and we have a few minutes to check. If I cant resist, I say "mind if I check my texts?" And I appreciate the same in return from people I'm with. I've found since smart phones became common, relaxing and enjoying each others company has become an issue all over the place, so I'm not big on only having minimal interaction with people, unless we both feel that we are getting what we need from the relationship and relaxed about the split attention.

I find texting MUCH more intrusive than phone calling or email...a phone call will take my partner out of the room - fine, an email or IMing is just typing, but texting is little annoying bing noises that piss me off when I'm trying to just relax in the same space with somebody, or in the middle of a conversation with them. Don't really care what other people are saying - if something is disrupting my happy, I will ask about how to keep it from interfering, and negotiate and compromise to find a happy medium if needed. I sure don't consider it "exerting control" to tell a partner I dont want them to text while we are spending time doing an activity together (unless they have kids or a pregnant partner or are waiting for news of some sort), but if they want to text all the time, they are welcome to, but I will probably stop spending time with them.

I can't really get the needing to text OMG good morning! OMG good night! too people, but as long as people can wait to do it after we've gotten out of bed, or to do it before we curl up for the night, it's not a bother to me. It would be a bother to me IN bed though, so I'd speak up under those circumstances.
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  #13  
Old 07-06-2013, 06:35 AM
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polyAnna317 polyAnna317 is offline
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Default texting rules are great

I find its best that texting rules are established. Alot of information can be take out of context via tex...and not by actually texting but by the volume of texting that happens while you are with one of your partners.

Everyone in the relationship deserves to have attention. now obviously there are "good morning good night texts" or how is your day going but setting the rules of no texting other partners while in bed or on a date is definately beneficial.

This way there are no hurt feelings, whether unintentionally hurt or not. Everyone wants an attentive partner.
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  #14  
Old 07-06-2013, 09:18 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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I once went out to dinner with a guy who got FB updates notifications on his phone, every few minutes it would 'bing' when someone posted something inane on his wall or answered on a thread he posted on...and he picked it up every time to read it, did I tell him off? Damn right I did and at that point I thought he was reading texts, when I found out later it was FB updates I was even more ticked off! It's rude, it has nothing to do with controlling someone but I can't stand it when people are ignoring the person next to them to interact through text with strangers on the bloody internet!
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  #15  
Old 07-06-2013, 01:47 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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It should be common etiquette.

Murf only has small windows in which he can text me. Luckily Butch understand and even if we are out on a date at 9 pm he understands and is ok with me texting with Murf a bit. But then again I do not ignore Butch while I do so. Same thing with our midnight conversations.
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  #16  
Old 07-06-2013, 07:11 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Agreed. This sounds like control issues.

Our unspoken texting "agreement" is "I'll text who I want, when I want. You'll text who you want, when you want."

As a matter of consideration and mutual respect, it just turns out that "when I/you want" coincides with times that we are not trying to enjoy a nice, intimate moment together. What more does one need?

I'm always amazed at how many people cannot live without their phones. I'm constantly forgetting to charge my phone, or if I do remember to charge it, I usually forget to take it off the charger when I go out. The people in my life have had to learn that just because I own a cell phone doesn't mean it's wired into my head. Call me, I may or may not answer. Text me, I'll probably get back to you within 24 hours. If it's urgent, call me several times in a row so I notice "8 missed calls" and clue in that you're not just calling to shoot the shit.

I'm pretty sure my teenage stepdaughter is literally wired differently. She seems fully capable of having two concurrent conversations, talking to us about one thing and texting who knows what to her friends at the same time, without missing a beat in either conversation.
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Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 07-06-2013 at 07:23 PM.
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  #17  
Old 07-07-2013, 04:45 PM
riftara riftara is offline
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For us, we set aside an hour a day that is just us, and there is no txting anyone during that time, its something we worked out because we were both feeling ignored. It was a boundary we both needed to set.

Now, we also have an agreement to "check in" about every four hours while we are out with our others, I'm really bad about forgetting, but he is much better, and I'm getting better about it.
Checking in is usually just an I love you, not an actual conversation.

Because we have kids, and a newborn, I do check any txt I get from him, bc it could be an emergency, but I just reply to let him know I got it and then thats it. We had to do this because we were fighting through txt while I was with H and H was upset that our limited time was being interrupted by a conversation that upset me.

H on the other hand, answers every txt, but he rarely has conversations while we are together, and he will ignore them short term if we are being intimate. I have no issues with it.
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  #18  
Old 07-08-2013, 04:03 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by riftara View Post
Because we have kids, and a newborn, I do check any txt I get from him, bc it could be an emergency, but I just reply to let him know I got it and then thats it.
Out of curiosity, wouldn't a phone call be more appropriate for an emergency? If my kid was in "emergency" trouble, I wouldn't want to be sitting around waiting to see if co-parent got my text or not, I'd want them on the phone NOW.
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  #19  
Old 07-09-2013, 01:46 AM
Maynard Maynard is offline
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Default Etiquette

Like in my earlier reply, you need etiquette when with a partner. The wife and I realized it big time during sex there should be no texting. She thought it would be cute to be texting and sending pics with the gf in the middle of us fooling around. It pretty much shut me down and I lost my drive, due to me trying to figure out where her head was. We talked about it later, and that's when knew there had to be an expectation with talking or texting while on a date or in the middle of being intimate.
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  #20  
Old 07-09-2013, 12:33 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Texting while fucking! I can't believe you people!
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