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  #11  
Old 07-04-2013, 11:34 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by yul View Post
Because she would prefer to be part of the "arrangement" but, even if she is not participating, she does want to feel comfortable and inspired by my other partner since we will all be having sex together even if indirectly.

. . . She also says she wants to make her presence known for all parties and doesn't want to be left out.
You seem to have missed the point we were trying to make.

It's absolutely fine that she would want to meet her metamour (whoever your other girlfriend would be), and perhaps develop a friendship or just a respectful acknowledgement of each other, BUT for her to HAVE A SAY in whom it will be is unreasonable!

If she is not dating that person, why should she expect to approve who it is? YOU are not SHE, and SHE is not YOU. You might be compatible and head-over-heels with someone she might not get along with - but so what? They can still be respectful and courteous to each other even if they aren't drawn to being friends, but if the woman is going to be with YOU, then YOU are the only person who needs to want to be with her.

Don't you understand? If it's not your girlfriend's relationship, she has no business directing it. It's YOUR relationship, therefore up to YOU who you get involved with and how you manage it. I can't believe you come here and complain about not being able to get a second relationship off the ground for three years and yet you can't see how you kowtow to your girlfriend's demands, basically letting her be a dictator over your life.
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Last edited by nycindie; 07-04-2013 at 11:36 PM.
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  #12  
Old 07-05-2013, 03:36 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Don't you understand?
It seems clear enough that there is a pretty big gap in the discussion. As far as I can piece together this is one of those "team dating" type situations. I think this is the nature of the lack of connection between many of the posts and the OP.

The only thing I can't figure out is if they are hunting for a unicorn for the two of them or if wifey just wants to closely supervise. Either one is going to end about the same way I imagine, I just can't tell which is going on here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by yul
In no way would a secondary partner be unimportant.That would never be the case. I am very caring and affectionate regardless.
What did you mean when you said you were finding women who wanted to be "a third wheel". I took that to mean that they wanted to be in a significant relationship with you but that you weren't interested in their becoming a "partner".

How did you mean it?
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  #13  
Old 07-05-2013, 06:07 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Anyhow, I feel like I still have work to do in finding the right person that will be willing to participate in such a setup.
It might help if you're able to clearly articulate what "such a setup" actually is. Given what you've posted so far it's possible that you're just confusing everyone you approach.
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  #14  
Old 07-05-2013, 06:11 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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It sounds like you are interviewing candidates for a job and the more you try to explain that it isn't like that, the more it does sound like that.
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  #15  
Old 07-06-2013, 10:05 PM
Zenferno Zenferno is offline
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Yul, I mean no offense, but I get the feeling from your sentence structure that English may not be your first language. If so that would probably explain some of the confusion here.
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