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  #21  
Old 06-27-2013, 01:46 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Take up an activity that is kid and adult friendly.
I love to walk, the kids and I walk to the park (4 miles) at least once a week. Once there, they have no use for me! LOL. So it would be a perfect chance to talk with someone, hang out, sit in the sun or throw a frisbee.

Also, hiking, biking, picnic... things that can be done with kids in tow-but still allow for adult friendly conversation and socialization.
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  #22  
Old 06-28-2013, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Take up an activity that is kid and adult friendly.
I love to walk, the kids and I walk to the park (4 miles) at least once a week. Once there, they have no use for me! LOL. So it would be a perfect chance to talk with someone, hang out, sit in the sun or throw a frisbee.

Also, hiking, biking, picnic... things that can be done with kids in tow-but still allow for adult friendly conversation and socialization.
Excellent point. My kids are very outdoorsy so that would fit in well with them.
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  #23  
Old 06-29-2013, 08:27 PM
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How old are the kids? Are they all in school, or do you full time parent them?

Personally, I homeschooled our 3 and didnt begin practicing polyamory until my youngest was 18... but I had plenty of interests and charm left at that late date to attract tons of people to date (off off Ok cupid dating site). Why don't you join there and see who bites?
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  #24  
Old 06-29-2013, 08:56 PM
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I dated a lovely guy who wanted us to hang out more and suggested that we do things with the kids such as going to the park, zoo or whatever but it wasn't something I was/am comfortable with.
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  #25  
Old 06-30-2013, 12:10 AM
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As I said-if they don't choose to meet my whole family as "just a friend" they won't ever get promoted to the status of anything else. It's just a requirement. My family is my world-people can join or merge with my world, or they can move on.
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  #26  
Old 07-01-2013, 05:26 PM
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The kids are 10, 8 and 3. I home school and am home with them all the time. I would not introduce them to anyone as more than a friend anyway. They don't know what's going on and are too young to really "get it" right now anyway.
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  #27  
Old 07-02-2013, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JadeDoor View Post
The kids are 10, 8 and 3. I home school and am home with them all the time.
I homeschooled, but we were rarely home when my kids were those ages. I had to get them out of the house or they'd get bored and pick on each other, or destroy the house. We were always going to museums, or libraries, or bookstores, or classes with other homeschoolers, or nature things, hiking, swimming, organized sports, scouts, playdates. They'd be perfectly well behaved when stimulated by culture, nature or friends.

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I would not introduce them to anyone as more than a friend anyway. They don't know what's going on and are too young to really "get it" right now anyway.
Loving Radiance, I believe, has not had a lover other than Maca and GG for at least a decade if not 2. I think it is much more common to NOT introduce a lover until the relationship is well established and seems secure.
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  #28  
Old 07-02-2013, 04:45 PM
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Oh trust me even younger kids get it..

I work from home so I am home with my boys 10 and 6 a lot. I am a strong believer in not losing yourself to parenthood. Yes I am mom but that doesn't define me. Adults need to have an adult social life outside the kids.

I am also a strong believer in no romantic interest meets my children until we have an established relationship. For example Murf did not meet my kids until we had been together 6 months. They were slowly worked into our time together. Now if Butch is working then they go with me to spend weekends and overnights with Murf.
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  #29  
Old 07-02-2013, 10:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I
Loving Radiance, I believe, has not had a lover other than Maca and GG for at least a decade if not 2. I think it is much more common to NOT introduce a lover until the relationship is well established and seems secure.
Basically true. I have had one female lover short term in that time and the kids did know her-as Maca's girlfriend, because she was.

As a rule of thumb-we meet people, if they become a friend, they can meet the family, if that goes well (we all have different time lines) they may become a lover.

I can't imagine trying to keep that a secret. GG certainly can't be a secret, we all live together.
I don't believe in lying to kids and I don't keep things a secret-so they all know (and have for the 4 years we've been poly) that we are poly and it's ok if they see mommy, daddy or GG kissing/hugging/loving someone other than mommy/daddy/GG.

But-everyone has their own style. We're also open with the other kids in our lives, who range from newborn to mid 20s. It's just not reasonable to expect someone we are in love with, committed to and building a life with-to be stuck in the closet.

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Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Oh trust me even younger kids get it..

I work from home so I am home with my boys 10 and 6 a lot. I am a strong believer in not losing yourself to parenthood. Yes I am mom but that doesn't define me. Adults need to have an adult social life outside the kids.

I am also a strong believer in no romantic interest meets my children until we have an established relationship. For example Murf did not meet my kids until we had been together 6 months. They were slowly worked into our time together. Now if Butch is working then they go with me to spend weekends and overnights with Murf.
Exactly this! Our youngest just turned 6. She has never had a time she didn't know she could find mommy in EITHER daddy's bedroom or GG's depending on the time of day. She knows we kiss and hug and love each other and we're a family.
She also knew daddy's "girlfriend" and even though she didn't live with us, she knew daddy spent time with her because he loved her and that sometimes she could go and sometimes it was "grownup only" time.
Shrug-it's just not a big deal to kids.
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  #30  
Old 07-02-2013, 11:01 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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I think a lot of people are afraid that their kids will blab something that will "out" them to other people, such as at school. But saying that the kids "won't get it" is just silly. Kids will "get it" just as much as they "get" anything else - if you act like you're up to no good, they will sense that you're up to no good, and if you act like everything is business-as-usual, they will follow your example.
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