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  #11  
Old 06-29-2013, 03:18 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Have you tried OKCupid.com and/or polymatchmaker.com?
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  #12  
Old 06-29-2013, 07:31 AM
london london is offline
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For some people, their attachment process means that they are capable of romantic feelings in the absence of or before they start a sexual relationship with someone. For others, sex is necessary before they can even begin to assess people for romantic compatibility. You need to find people who are able to feel romantically for others without having sex with them. This does mean that they are more likely to not be very sexually driven though. Sex might not be very important to them at all.
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  #13  
Old 06-29-2013, 08:58 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heartforge View Post
We should get into Melbourne to PolyVic meetings, but they always seem to be timed for our children's bedtime.
The discussion group or the end of month social gathering (or both)?
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  #14  
Old 06-30-2013, 05:22 AM
LadySFI LadySFI is offline
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I wonder what percentage of the population is poly by choice? I am not talking about harems and the like in some other countries, but those that choose their SO's.

I was just having this conversation the other day. My major problem is that people see poly and immediately confuse it with slut. I have had people tell me to prove it, let me be your boyfriend (obviously that was the end of that). I am enjoying my NRE right now, but my husband is having problems finding people that want more than a one night stand (him living in a big military town doesn't help).

I only physically know one other polyamorus triad that seems to be working things out quite well. Considering the circles I travel in, I want to say we are a VERY small group.

If anyone finds a reliable way, let me know.
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  #15  
Old 06-30-2013, 08:58 PM
Realisticexpectations Realisticexpectations is offline
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Most of my friends equate poly with swinging. I cant seem to get it through their heads that poly is not swinging.
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  #16  
Old 07-01-2013, 03:02 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadySFI View Post
My major problem is that people see poly and immediately confuse it with slut.
It's important to keep in mind context.

People who are in non-monogamous relationships are prone to be more sex-positive and sexually expressive than their monogamous counterparts. I find it reasonable to presume that most people get into polyamory because they want to have more fulfilling sex lives *and* romantic lives. People going on this type of journey are more prone to discovering concepts like sex-positivity, kink, ethical sluthood, etc, so it's not unusual to find this kind of personality being associated with poly. Thus it is not unreasonable to lump the group of us together as "sluts".

Add to that the swing crowd. From an outside perspective it's not unreasonable for people to confuse them with poly folk. I mean, they're in a relationship, having sex with other folks, everyone seems ok with it... they look poly from someone who doesn't really know what they're looking for.

I found myself technically qualifying as polyamorous but it never had anything to do with how much sex I could get; it was a philosophical change unrelated to sex drive. But lets be realistic folks, probably most people out there practice non-monogamy at least partially because they wanna get LAID! Judging from the madness on this forum I'm going to go out on a limb and say that coming to poly from a non-sex-drive motivation is not the norm.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadySFI View Post
I have had people tell me to prove it, let me be your boyfriend (obviously that was the end of that)
That's just a retarded person who demonstrated this to you very clearly. Count yourself lucky, most people aren't quite that damaged and are harder to spot.
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  #17  
Old 07-01-2013, 03:13 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post


Quote:
I have had people tell me to prove it, let me be your boyfriend (obviously that was the end of that
That's just a retarded person who demonstrated this to you very clearly. Count yourself lucky, most people aren't quite that damaged and are harder to spot.
I've had people tell me to "prove" that I do or do not "dye my hair below the waist". So WHAT? I don't make my issues other people's problem, and I sure as hell don't make THEIR issues MY problem. You want me to "prove" to you I'm non-monogamous? The proof is in the bottom of a big hot cup of "go fuck yourself". It is also written in fine-print on my sweet alabaster ass.

That said, I've never had any lack of sex, getting laid, whatever you want to call it - in a relationship or not, monogamous or otherwise. I guess I'm just that fabulous, or maybe it's just easier to fuck me than it is to get rid of me.
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