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  #11  
Old 05-21-2013, 10:08 PM
sterling119 sterling119 is offline
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We will see how it works out this coming weekend, I am working very late the next 2 fridays, getting out at 2 as I did this last one and wife and I have decided we will continue to have j and d time friday and her and I time saturday. Sunday will be her choice or if she is really feeling it....who knows.....lol. Wife d and I have been married for over 23 years so we are content but the relationship with j and d is still pretty new so they are in horny mode and it's kinda funny to watch so I am thinking there is at least for now be more time with j on the weekends then myself and thats fine. Besides I am with her all week while he is gone.
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  #12  
Old 06-30-2013, 08:52 PM
Realisticexpectations Realisticexpectations is offline
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Default Time management

How do you split up your time between your primary and secondary relationships? Is there a an easy way to navigate this? I find it difficult being that I dont want to hurt feelings or make my primary feel left out.
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  #13  
Old 06-30-2013, 10:01 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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I'm not trying to be a jerk, but of course it will seem lke i am being a jerk. Sigh. But i am curious since you have >10 posts... Have you TRIED reading around on this forum? Have you surfed, done a tag search, keyword search, looked at the golden nuggets/ master thread section, ANYTHING prior to saying "Fuck it. I can't find anything on this topic no matter what i try. It's hopeless. Ir doesn't seem like anyone has ever had to ask this question, at least in a long time, so i guess it might as well be me."

I am very curious and look forward to your answer.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 06-30-2013 at 10:01 PM. Reason: Save your breath, london and dirtclustit.
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  #14  
Old 06-30-2013, 10:22 PM
Realisticexpectations Realisticexpectations is offline
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I just wanted to see what other forum members had to say. I am not here to try to irk anyone.
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  #15  
Old 06-30-2013, 10:59 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Realisticexpectations View Post
How do you split up your time between your primary and secondary relationships? Is there a an easy way to navigate this? I find it difficult being that I dont want to hurt feelings or make my primary feel left out.
I do not have primary and secondary relationships.

I spend my time as close to equally as everyone's schedule allows.
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  #16  
Old 06-30-2013, 11:27 PM
Elements Elements is offline
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Our rules are that the primary relationship comes first. I spend 90 percent of the time with DH/family and the other 10 percent with my BF.
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  #17  
Old 07-01-2013, 01:17 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I don't have primary/secondary relationships.
I live with my husband and my boyfriend and our kids.
I generally SLEEP with my husband, because my sleep habits don't mesh well with my boyfriends ANYWAY. (even when husband isn't here, I generally sleep alone vs with bf).

However-most time is spent as a family together. Date's are one on one and we *try* for one a week each-but honestly-that almost never works out. LOL! We're too frequently disrupting our own date nights with family activities-ESPECIALLY in the summer.
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  #18  
Old 07-01-2013, 02:30 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Realisticexpectations View Post
How do you split up your time between your primary and secondary relationships? Is there a an easy way to navigate this? I find it difficult being that I dont want to hurt feelings or make my primary feel left out.
I don't rank people into hierarchical roles; I am not in the military.

I spend time with people as I have the availability and desire and I am not responsible for their emotional state. If, for instance, they don't "feel like I'm spending enough time" with them they are certainly welcome to invite me over to visit or whatever floats their boat and I will accept their invitation if it is something I want to do. This is the same with any loved one who wants to spend time with me.
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  #19  
Old 07-01-2013, 02:35 AM
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Our rules are that the primary relationship comes first. I spend 90 percent of the time with DH/family and the other 10 percent with my BF.
If you happen to end up spending your allotted 10% of available time with your secondary while you are doing something with them to you immediately stop what you are doing, stand up and walk out? Or do you plan ahead and let them know "Since you are a low priority, I'm only allotted 2 hours and 13 minutes with you for the rest of the week.."
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  #20  
Old 07-01-2013, 02:37 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I don't apply a hierarchy of primary and secondary status on my relationships, so my policy is "first come, first served." Whoever asks for my time first, gets scheduled if I am free. I don't cancel time with one person if someone else wants to see me.
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An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/
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