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Old 06-27-2013, 03:23 PM
Newbie9's Avatar
Newbie9 Newbie9 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: South Florida
Posts: 13
Default Hello everyone!

I'm hoping to get a bit of advice.

I am a naturally monogomous person and my boyfriend is not. He has cheated on every girlfriend he has ever had including me. I have broken up with him several times with him because of it. I know how much he loves me and doesn't want to hurt me and know he really wants is to have lasting love in his life. It is a struggle for him to stop what comes naturally to him and I don't want to make him sacrifice something he needs in his life even though I don't really understand it.

We are both in our 30's

I don't think I can be poly or be with a poly guy. I suggested that loving me and his desire to date other women are separate issues that have nothing to do with each other and maybe he should look into the idea of being poly. He says he's not poly that it's a ridiculous idea, that he loves me and that he can "change"

His actions over the last 3 years tell a different story

We live together and are 2 months in to a year lease and I don't want to be a prison warden girlfriend, I don't want to be lied to and cheated on, and I don't want him to be miserable either. I'm highly skeptical of his insistence that he can be monogomous and that I can just trust him and we can live in peace. I feel like if he is going to be dating/having relationships/ having sex with other women I'd prefer to be informed about it so we can just be friends and I can spend my time finding a naturally monogomous man to share my romantic life with instead of sitting around constantly questioning my sanity from being deceived.

He is not an evil sociopath or an abuser of any sort and we are both miserable. I don't think he can help it nor do I think he should, any more than I think a gay person should try to be straight. Any suggestions?
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