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Old 12-10-2012, 04:20 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Originally Posted by RickPlus View Post
BOOK REVIEW: "Polyamory In the 21st Century: Love and intimacy with Multiple Partners", by Dr. Deborah M. Anapol, Published by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc, (c) 2010?, ISBN 976-1-4422-0021-0, 269 pages.

The library ordered this book for us, so I felt I should read it. I was not looking forward to it as I found Dr. Anapol's book, "Polyamory The New Love Without Limits", a dull read.

I enjoyed this book far more than her previous one. She speaks with greater authority and her writing is more personable and fun to read. Additionally there are few examples that are copied from the previous work - most of the examples she gives in this work are fresh.

The book is not simply an updating of her previous work. There are new chapters on how poly affects children. (Seems good to her but no scientific studies which say one thing or another.) There is a chapter on cross cultural perspectives and then she talks about poly in myth, archetypes and human evolution.

She spends less time than in her previous book about the 'how to' aspects of poly. I think that the discussion on jealousy is slightly better in this book than her previous one.

She repeats herself a bit. The chapter on myth, archetypes and evolution repeated stuff from earlier in the book (but goes into it in more depth). This made the later section lose a bit of its impact.

This book lacks the bibliography of other movies and fiction and non-fiction discussing poly. If you would like this, look at the first book.

One surprise that I got is that her definition of poly includes those who are currently monogamous but are willing to allow other people into their lives, even if they don't have another partner now. By that definition, my wife and I were poly from the day we were married 15 years ago.

Overall, I can recommend this book much more strongly than her previous work.

Warm regards, Rick.
I'm almost done reading this and I have to say its a great book. I really wish I'd discovered it when I first came to the idea of polyamory and it seems like an ideal book to give to someone who wants to get an idea of the various poly breeds.

It gets down to a lot of the how's and why's of poly and gives lots of examples that are easily relatable. I havent read her new book, but I would say this is an excellent book to give to someone who wants to learn about poly in a clear, concise way without massive overlay of New Agey ideas.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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Old 12-20-2012, 12:49 AM
LairdH LairdH is offline
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Default Fallen Lake

Would it be egotistical to recommend my own book? It's not a "how-to" manual but rather a novel, the story of two couples who are irresistibly attracted to each other and of their children's lives with four parents. It's called Fallen Lake. You can get more information about it from www.fallenlake.com. (The publisher is offering a discount to people on polyamory discussion groups for the month of December. Go to https://www.createspace.com/3701683 and enter the discount code MFNCDVXR).

I'd love to hear what folks think of it.
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Old 01-19-2013, 07:51 AM
Cyril Cyril is offline
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I think the first exposure I had to polyamory was on Wikipedia, but what really piqued my interest was a couple of articles from LessWrong, a rationality website.

"Rational Romantic Relationships, Part 1: Relationship Styles and Attraction Basics", by Luke Muelhauser
Covers a number of different relationship styles including polyamory, as well as attachment styles in general.


"Polyhacking", by Alicorn
How she went about deprogramming jealousy in order to be with the man she loved.
Already suggested are 'The Ethical Slut' and 'Sex at Dawn', both of which I've read and enjoyed, though I might have some reservations about Sex at Dawn that I could go into if I had the book in front of me (and if anybody cares :P)
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Old 04-20-2013, 08:04 PM
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Marvin Marvin is offline
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A couple of books that helped us were:

"The Dewey Color System for Relationships" by Dewey Sadka was probably the most helpful (and creepily accurate I might add....). This book helped bring to light some reason behind why we each think and act like we do.. Interesting

The other is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This book is written from a more spiritual standpoint, which was a little hard to get through, but the overall gist of the "languages" that he points out was helpful.
Our symphony:
Me- Linkin Park- the husband. I am the youngest, fast paced and admittedly full of issues.

Nina Simone- our wife- slow, gritty, and sexy like a smoky piano bar and a glass of brandy.

Led Zepplin- our wife - a rocker little tomboy that loves with everything. All she's got or nothing at all.
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Old 06-20-2013, 01:19 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Though not specifically about polyamory, What Do Women Want?: Adventures in the Science of Female Desire" has been recommended by a few people. Author Daniel Bergner compiled research done by several women sex researchers for the book. Insightful reviews of the book are on Good Reads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...-do-women-want

I found this New York Times article by the author (from 2009) to be very interesting and thought-provoking:
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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Old 02-23-2014, 03:00 PM
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phantazmagoria phantazmagoria is offline
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Default for the secondary type person in a triad

I was wondering if there are and books, websites, articles, blogs, etc. out there written specifically for or by the secondary in a triad relationship. It seems like the information I find isn't really geared toward what they go through.

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Old 04-14-2014, 04:30 PM
Sileuro Sileuro is offline
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Default Anapol

Originally Posted by RickPlus View Post
BOOK REVIEW: "Polyamory In the 21st Century: Love and intimacy with Multiple Partners", by Dr. Deborah M. Anapol, Published by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc, (c) 2010?, ISBN 976-1-4422-0021-0, 269 pages.
This is the one I've just finished. Also The Seven Natural Laws of Love. I think those are good books for someone who is trying to understand poliamory or what her/his partner feels. Just to start with.

Its also interesting to have a look to the Magazine http://www.lovemore.com/
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Old 06-29-2014, 08:11 PM
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JessicaBurde JessicaBurde is offline
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Not publicly available yet, but More than Two by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert will be coming out this fall. Given the quality of Franklin's More than Two website, I expect the book to be one of the best.

The Polyamorists Next Door, by Dr. Eli Sheff is a great popular science book for friends, family, and other monos who want to understand why polyamory is and how it works.

A bit of self promotion, but my book Polyamory and Pregnancy is a good resource for any polies dealing with pregnancy (trying to get pregnant, deciding if you want to get pregnant, unexpected pregnancies, and more) in a polyamorous relationship.
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