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  #41  
Old 06-19-2013, 04:54 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Dominant/submissive relationships are not an excuse for everything. Even if this was a D/s relationship, so what? Anyone can leave any relationship regardless of whether they are kinky, vanilla, or whatever. I am so done with people answering threads where there is just weird abusive shit going on with, "but is this a D/s relationship?" as if that explains it all and makes it ok to birth children and fuck with their minds like a cult. Fuck D/s. D/s can kiss my ass. If it has a problem with that, tell it to PM me and i'll give it my cell phone number and we can talk in real-time.

D/s... Yeah right.
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  #42  
Old 06-19-2013, 05:02 AM
kittenkittykat kittenkittykat is offline
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My job is a min wage job. Yes I am expected to contribute my income to household bills. I get a weekly allowance. I am an American citizen and not here under a green card I was born in this country. I just don't know if these ppl really love me or if they are just using me to provide them with the children she can't have. I don't have a good relationship with my family so me leaning on them isn't a probable solution. I grew up in foster care as did my siblings. We know our parents but no contact with them anymore. My siblings and I aren't close so that's Why I say options are limited.
L
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  #43  
Old 06-19-2013, 05:03 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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I agree wholeheartedly. I am not into d/s. Shit does nothing for me. Some people abuse the hell out of it and take it outside of the bedroom. One member on here said her boyfriend/fiance/husband or someone made her promise not to have sex with anyone else. Despite being poly. Another was cheating on his wife, and she posted on here about how he brought the woman home and told her to train the woman. I do not have time for that.

The OP said it was not a d/s situation a few pages back or in the other thread. To me, this sounds abusive. Despite the OP saying it is not. When someone says stuff like, "I do not have the option," red flags start waving. Are they going to drug her and impregnate her? She always has the option to get on or stay on birth control or say no to sex. The OP is 29 or something like that, so by no means is she an impressionable, naive teenager or something. I am wondering whose idea it was to start TTC. It sounds like something the couple cooked up, and the OP is their unfortunate victim.

Last edited by FullofLove1052; 06-19-2013 at 06:24 AM.
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  #44  
Old 06-19-2013, 05:08 AM
kittenkittykat kittenkittykat is offline
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Okay I said it's not D/s outside of bedroom activities. Also, as far as ttc goes it was discused for a yr and it was their mention of trying not mine. I am not dumb just in the process of planning an escape
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  #45  
Old 06-19-2013, 05:12 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kittenkittykat View Post
My job is a min wage job. Yes I am expected to contribute my income to household bills. I get a weekly allowance. I am an American citizen and not here under a green card I was born in this country. I just don't know if these ppl really love me or if they are just using me to provide them with the children she can't have. I don't have a good relationship with my family so me leaning on them isn't a probable solution. I grew up in foster care as did my siblings. We know our parents but no contact with them anymore. My siblings and I aren't close so that's Why I say options are limited.
L
I doubt that they love you. I would not give all of my income to household bills. Whether you want to believe it or not, that is a form of abuse and control. They want you to be dependent upon them, and you are. You are not close to your family, and you give all of your income to the household. They have you right where they want you; vulnerable and dependent.

I would never ask someone to bear a child and tell them that their flesh and blood could not call them mum. It sounds like they are using you to have the children she cannot. I am assuming she is infertile or has a hard time carrying pregnancies to full term. When it comes to children, people will do anything. That is why there is a black market for babies. People do steal babies, pass them off as their own, or sell them to the highest bidders. It happens more often than not.

I would not have a child for this couple. If you want children, that is fine. If you do it for or with them, you are going to get burned or hurt. If you have to wonder if they love you, they probably do not.
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  #46  
Old 06-19-2013, 05:20 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kittenkittykat View Post
I am not dumb just in the process of planning an escape
Now THAT makes sense.
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Independent (Anarchist) Non-Monogamy

Me: male, 40, straight, single
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  #47  
Old 06-19-2013, 05:23 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Originally Posted by FullofLove1052 View Post
It sounds like they are using you to have the children she cannot. I am assuming she is infertile or has a hard time carrying pregnancies to full term. .
The OP has said the wife had a partial hysterectomy and is 46 years old. Its a safe bet they want the OP for her uterus.
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  #48  
Old 06-19-2013, 05:27 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Originally Posted by Natja View Post
The OP has said the wife had a partial hysterectomy and is 46 years old. Its a safe bet they want the OP for her uterus.
Thank you. I have not read all of the OP's posts, so I missed what happened. They do want the OP for her uterus. She said they wanted to start TTC. Nevermind what the OP wanted.
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  #49  
Old 06-19-2013, 06:05 AM
kittenkittykat kittenkittykat is offline
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A lot of the time I feel like if I state my thoughts I am made to feel like they see them as wrong or dumb.

I sometimes feel as though when we cuddle and talk like things are going to get better but then they make some comment like the baby not calling me mommy.
L
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  #50  
Old 06-19-2013, 06:07 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FullofLove1052 View Post
I agree wholeheartedly. I am not into d/s. Shit does nothing for me. Some people abuse the hell out of it and take it outside of the bedroom. One member on here said her boyfriend/fiance/husband or someone made her promise not to have sex with anyone else. Despite being poly. Another was cheating on his wife, and she posted on here about how he brought the woman home and told her to train the woman. I do not have time for that.
I don't have anything against it, but I think it's over-rated as an excuse for bullshit from all sides. If a person posts anything negative or critical or suggests something might be unhealthy or unhappy or unfair, and it gets made known that there's D/s somewhere in there, there are always at least one or two people who fixate on that and get all uppity about how D/s is so misunderstood and it's who people really are and this is not just sex-in-the-bedroom-role-play, it's SRS BSNS, this D/s Master/slave stuff, and non-kinky people can't POSSIBLY give any useful advice because they have no clue.

Pfeh.



Quote:
When someone says stuff like, "I do not have the option," red flags start waving. Are they going to drug her and impregnate her?
This is the thing. I don't know why the OP is asking strangers on the internet for permission to have a kid with a partner of her own choice and raise her own kid. The GOVERNMENT allows that. Who the hell are these people? They want another kid but they can't afford to buy one, so they find a 30 year old who doesn't know any better?

I'm trying to imagine how bad my life would have to be in order to regard this kind of arrangement as a vast improvement.

It reminds me of that novel "The Handmaiden". It's set in the future where young single women are required to have sex with rich married men so their infertile wives can have babies to raise. Or something like that. I haven't read it but it gets talked about a lot on the child-free forums.
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