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Old 06-17-2013, 08:40 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Quote:
I told him i worry about that, and he kind of just said nothing.
That sounds like expressing worry. It doesn't sound like you asked for reassure. What was it verbatim?


Don't confuse "having needs" with "being needy." Perhaps being more assertive could help you? You feel whatever it is you feel. But if you don't like how you are feeling, change your behavior, see how THAT feels, and see if it serves you better.

Could just ASK for what you want and see what happens.

If you don't want to hear about his wife stuff, could ask him not to tell you about his wife stuff. "Could you please not tell me about your wife stuff? It triggers me. Thank you."

If you want reassure from him, you could ask him. "Could you please reassure me that you aren't going to just break up with me to please her? There would be a heads up talk first? Could you reassure me that I would get that?"

You expressing worries "I am worried about _____" let's him know you ARE worried, but it isn't asking him to do anything to reassure you. Spell it out. Don't expect mind readering.

If these are things you want -- more flirting, more touching, and more affectionate texts etc. -- ASK. If he is willing to provide it, great. If not, great. You get to know that perhaps this person is not willing/able to meet your need and you get to know that perhaps this person is not the best match for you. That's what dating is FOR. To figure out the compatible ones.

Galagirl
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