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  #141  
Old 06-16-2013, 10:45 PM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default if someone has to fuss over rules

or someone is trying to impose rules that another doesn't agree with, it pretty much spells doom.

With some people it is necessary to be very explicit and clear with them exactly what is and is not breaking the rule. Many people have a tendency to be dishonest with themselves and if you find you have to explicitly spell out the finer details of your household's rule, you'd likely have trouble with such a person eventually. Some people may genuinely not understand disclosure and keeping people informed. But I bet it wouldn't be hard for any of you to discern whether or not the person who broke your rule did so innocently.

In fact that may be an good description of when rules may be necessary for successful relationships:

When problems arise within a household or a relationship, and the offender's behavior is not obvious as to whether or not the violation was done in innocence. When someone does another person wrong, whether they meant to or not is fairly important.

If their are discrepancies about whether or not the action was wrong, then there are issues that go beyond simple formation of rules, and it is likely that those who cannot agree on whether actions are right or wrong, simply do not have compatible ways which set things in order of importance in their lives.

Hierarchy and Consent are often the underlying root to anything and everything that ever appears problematic in this simple, yet complicate life
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  #142  
Old 06-17-2013, 12:49 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Pretty much the only rule I have set in stone which my partners must abide by is that my partners don't try to control me with their rules.

If they want to set rules of conduct for themselves that is their business but I'm an adult, I can decide for myself what is appropriate behavior.
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  #143  
Old 06-17-2013, 01:04 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Just treat each other with respect and mind your own business about relationships you are not a partner in. Only if it involves the well-being of the kids can you meddle.
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  #144  
Old 06-17-2013, 02:37 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
Pretty much the only rule I have set in stone which my partners must abide by is that my partners don't try to control me with their rules.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Just treat each other with respect and mind your own business about relationships you are not a partner in.
Pretty much this. As a relationship anarchist I find rigid rules suffocating. Also I tend to see an intimate relationship as a close friendships at its core, so basically what applies to friendships, i.e. respect and freedom instead of entitlement, should apply to relationships as well.
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Last edited by Eponine; 06-17-2013 at 03:05 AM.
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  #145  
Old 06-17-2013, 04:20 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default In most states Dagferi

You need a warrant to enter a persons house when the doors are locked. And I don't think even homeland security violates people with the behavior I've bore witness to
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  #146  
Old 06-17-2013, 06:49 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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We dont have many...i ask my husband he not perform oral sex unless he knows her well (Safe sex, but also just a thing for me) and we always ask before going on a date, or getting physical. Not much else...he speaks freely with my bf, they get on well. My bf and his spouse dont have discussed boundaries, but thats actually a budding problem if you ask me.
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  #147  
Old 06-17-2013, 07:26 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Originally Posted by Dirtclustit View Post
You need a warrant to enter a persons house when the doors are locked. And I don't think even homeland security violates people with the behavior I've bore witness to
Wtf are you talking about?

I never meantion anyone entering anyone's home.

Seriously you need some help.
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  #148  
Old 06-17-2013, 09:52 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Wtf are you talking about?

I never meantion anyone entering anyone's home.

Seriously you need some help.


Even though this is off topic a bit, he DOES have a point. In most states if not all you DO need a warrant. Well, not "you", but "they". THEY need a warrant . Or they are supposed to. However, if there is screaming or a characteristic odor of rotting flesh coming from inside the dwelling, i think the cops are allowed to kick down the door or drill through the wall in order to get in. Furthermore, i disagree that Homeland Security would violate that requirement. I happen to know for a fact that Franklin Veaux moonlights as an agent for the DHS, and part of it involves sneaking into people's storage units and homes and copying their papers. Then he returns them and makes it look like someone randomly broke in and didn't have time to look around because they thought they heard people coming.

If that is not painfully obvious to EVERYONE, then i truly do not know what else to tell you.
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  #149  
Old 06-17-2013, 10:44 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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LOLOL, good lord.
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  #150  
Old 06-17-2013, 11:37 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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LOLOL, good lord.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEfSamRnA-c

ETA: I am not certain whether any animals were harmed during the making of this video, or not. It doesn't SHOW any animals being harmed, so that is at least a step in the right direction. But I am a little concerned about the non-consensual drug use and the use of sex as a means to an end (other than pregnancy).

Last edited by BoringGuy; 06-17-2013 at 11:58 PM.
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