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  #31  
Old 06-14-2013, 11:23 AM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Originally Posted by kittenkittykat View Post
Well she and I were talking and she said we need to sit down and discuss how things would be if there were to be an end of our relationship. Personally, I said I feel like we would need to devise a co-parenting plan as I can't fully walk away from a child that I gave birth too.
Why is this even being discussed among the baby-planning? This isn't your typical "let's goosh about the baby's future" conversation many prospective parents have.

I agree with the others - this is a huge red flag to me. She sounds like she's trying to plan for a future WITH the baby and WITHOUT you. I wouldn't even make it sound like you could PARTIALLY walk away from your own child. Seems like she's grabbing for what she can.
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  #32  
Old 06-14-2013, 11:57 AM
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Co parenting plans are fine and good on paper. But they could just decide to keep the baby and not return it. Forcing you through a nasty expensive custody battle. Where they could smear your character , name, and destroy you financiallly.

Not to mention the mental mind fuck this woman will put your child through in her care.
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  #33  
Old 06-14-2013, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Co parenting plans are fine and good on paper. But they could just decide to keep the baby and not return it. Forcing you through a nasty expensive custody battle. Where they could smear your character , name, and destroy you financiallly.
You'd be the single woman who they were good enough to provide with a home and the husband in a moment of weakness had an "affair" with you, but he is repentant now and he and his loyal wife want desperately to provide a home with two parents for this little baby.....

I don't know where you live, but with a conservative minded judge this is all too possible a reality.
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  #34  
Old 06-14-2013, 01:31 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Quote:
Well she and I were talking and she said we need to sit down and discuss how things would be if there were to be an end of our relationship. Personally, I said I feel like we would need to devise a co-parenting plan as I can't fully walk away from a child that I gave birth too.
GOOD. Talk it out before there is a pregnancy. Get your lines in the sand out there.

And now that you are finding even MORE reasons why you are on differing viewpoints -- maybe that means you do NOT have a baby with this partner and within this family structure.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 06-15-2013 at 12:09 AM.
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  #35  
Old 06-14-2013, 01:49 PM
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How long have you been in this relationship with them? At least a year together, I hope. This incident seems to reveal some very alarming deeper issues, and I would be EXTREMELY cautious about bringing a new human being into the world if you are going to stay in this situation. I certainly wouldn't, if I were you, unless you all are completely "out" to everyone and all three families. Secrecy really fucks kids up.
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Last edited by nycindie; 06-14-2013 at 02:02 PM.
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  #36  
Old 06-14-2013, 08:48 PM
peabean peabean is offline
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Default This is not right

Please, listen to what everyone else is saying here.

I am in a triad, and we are currently trying to conceive a baby. It is my girlfriend who will carry the child and there is no way I would ever ask her to pretend the child was biologically mine. That is unreasonable!!

Our current child (biologically mine) is parented equally by all 3 of us. We all love her and consider her our daughter. She sometimes calls my girlfriend by a different name for mommy, but she often calls her mommy too. It doesnt really matter to me, I am still her mom and so is my girlfriend.

I fear you are being used in this situation. We have a lawyer and have tried to protect ourselves legally going forward. I suggest your family does the same before moving forward with a plan for a baby.
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  #37  
Old 06-16-2013, 08:09 PM
kittenkittykat kittenkittykat is offline
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In the state we live in since he and are not legally married I would have custody by default. Secondly, we have been togetherfor quite some time going on two yrs. Wee wanted to wait til I was ready for a child and things. We do all live together now but that is a very recent devolpment.

Anyways, my family is not supportive of poly. He only has relationship with select family members as does she. They would However totally have my back if something happend and I needed to leave with a child. She has openly admited to being a control freak. Weare worjking it out.
L
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  #38  
Old 06-16-2013, 10:29 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Which State is that btw?

A control freak doesn't necessarily try to take your child. Try to interfere with how you raise it yes, but tell you that "she will be mummy"? That is waaaay beyond being a control freak.

Just please wait, get it all in writing, see a lawyer and then wait some more.
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  #39  
Old 06-16-2013, 11:02 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Even better: if you want a kid so bad, get another source of XY chromosome DNA to fertilize your oocytes.
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  #40  
Old 06-17-2013, 02:38 AM
kittenkittykat kittenkittykat is offline
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We are in Nevada. I already spoke with a lawyer.
L
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