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  #581  
Old 06-15-2013, 12:32 AM
Ssandra Ssandra is offline
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Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
Well this morning was an interesting conversation with Primal. He told me that he's starting to have moments (fleeting ones) of conflict with our relationship and his polyamory. He's told me that he would love to have a 24/7 M/S relationship with me but the conflict part arises because he doesn't see how that would work with both of us having other primaries.

So if anyone has any advice as to how that could work (cause we talked a little about it and would both love to have it if it is feasible) I'd love to hear that.
You could have an adjusted 24/7? One where you are always in D/s mode whenever you are together, but not while you are apart, or not while you are with your other partners?
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  #582  
Old 06-15-2013, 12:42 AM
Ssandra Ssandra is offline
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I've been in the "scene" since I was 17 or 18 (first online, later some play parties and just get togethers). When I met my husband that stopped since he is not much of a public person.

I am very much a masochist and a sometimes submissive.

Recently things changed in our relationship; now I'm very VERY much looking forward to finding new playmates to explore things with....

I am curious if I can get back into a submissive head space. I haven't been for a very long time, and I'm not sure how much of being submissive was being insecure and how much was just being submissive (I'm wondering because besides some relationship stuff that made us stop exploring that side, I also have grown a lot as a person, am much more confident now than I was before)

I really hope that in a year or so (maybe a bit sooner, who knows...) I can start getting to know the kinky people here and maybe find out where I stand.

I'd love to get to know someone I trust so much that they are willing to explore with me where my pain limit is. Where I dare to say stop only when I really cannot take it anymore, instead of when it just gets scary....

I absolutely love real sadists. Doms/Dommes who like hurting me because they like seeing me enjoying it is always fun, but there is nothing like the thrill of someone who literally gets off on hurting you, regardless of your enjoyment of it... (Of course, I'm a smart woman and will always only play with people who will respect safe words! No matter how much they would like to ignore it )
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  #583  
Old 06-15-2013, 03:00 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Originally Posted by Ssandra View Post
You could have an adjusted 24/7? One where you are always in D/s mode whenever you are together, but not while you are apart, or not while you are with your other partners?
That's pretty much what we've figured now will work the best for us.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #584  
Old 06-15-2013, 06:27 AM
london london is offline
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I've had a D/s relationship whilst seeing other people. I had orgasm restrictions as well as task type things to do. It works perfectly fine as long as the D Type isn't a dick and doesn't try and enforce rules that will non consensually impact on the sex lives of their metamours. Ie, my orgasm restriction didn't apply to dates with other people, just masturbation.
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  #585  
Old 06-16-2013, 05:46 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
Well this morning was an interesting conversation with Primal. He told me that he's starting to have moments (fleeting ones) of conflict with our relationship and his polyamory. He's told me that he would love to have a 24/7 M/S relationship with me but the conflict part arises because he doesn't see how that would work with both of us having other primaries.

So if anyone has any advice as to how that could work (cause we talked a little about it and would both love to have it if it is feasible) I'd love to hear that.
I've seen queries about this subject on fetlife every couple of weeks or so, and there's usually lots of advice from people who are in that position, mainly on the poly and kinky forum, but you also might find it just as interesting to read the Two Dominants forum (I havent but...) since it still also will deal with not stepping on others toes/co-operating in that sort of dynamic, and fetlife's search function sucks so I couldn't find any of the threads about the subject easily in P&K
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Last edited by Anneintherain; 06-16-2013 at 05:54 AM.
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  #586  
Old 06-16-2013, 06:07 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Well this morning was an interesting conversation with Primal. He told me that he's starting to have moments (fleeting ones) of conflict with our relationship and his polyamory. He's told me that he would love to have a 24/7 M/S relationship with me but the conflict part arises because he doesn't see how that would work with both of us having other primaries.
I have been thinking about this too, but for other reasons. I have heard from reliable sources that within the next decade or so, cloning booths will become available at the consumer level. Anyone will be able to enter a cloning booth, insert their tattoo, and in less time than it takes to get a prescription filled while you wait, a fully operational clone of oneself will be rendered for use at one's discretion.

Currently, prototypes and beta versions are being piloted in most major cities throughout Japan. Subscribe to our mailing list and be among the first to know when this technology becomes available in your region of first-world Western society (including most of Eastern Europe - because let's face it - those folks are suckers for anything with the word "Japon" on it, or with a good ad slogan. Especially the Czech. But i digress. PM me if you want the answer).
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  #587  
Old 06-17-2013, 05:25 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
Well this morning was an interesting conversation with Primal. He told me that he's starting to have moments (fleeting ones) of conflict with our relationship and his polyamory. He's told me that he would love to have a 24/7 M/S relationship with me but the conflict part arises because he doesn't see how that would work with both of us having other primaries.

So if anyone has any advice as to how that could work (cause we talked a little about it and would both love to have it if it is feasible) I'd love to hear that.
Giving up all control of your body, your mind and it's will to another only works well if when control is not undeserved. When talking about instances that are more than role playing, or more than specific situations, especially as full time as seven days a week for all 23hours and 55minutes of all seven days, would only be wise to do so if You knew a Master who could help You learn to fulfill Your dreams. The One Who could do that may be deserving of your submission, and having a primary that is not your Master won't hinder that. It takes a person who accepts your submission for your benefit, not theirs. But the common Dom/sub dynamic will be problematic as some "Doms" have trouble understanding what being responsible with power and control over others entails. Bending rules of authority over rights, and whose permission must be granted for anyone to have control over one's rights spells doom.

The line that separates abusive behavior from desired behavior can never be blurred as blurring said line is often more dangerous than outright abuse.

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 06-17-2013 at 05:33 AM.
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  #588  
Old 06-17-2013, 05:24 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Dirtclusit, you do realize that didn't answer my question at all?

Anyways, primal and I are going to use the advice doing the amended 24/7 for whenever other partners aren't there and via the phone when we are at work or apart for other reasons.
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Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
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  #589  
Old 06-17-2013, 05:32 PM
london london is offline
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It wasn't totally irrelevant advice, I took it as him saying a good Dom wouldn't fuck with your marriage.
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  #590  
Old 06-17-2013, 06:12 PM
Ssandra Ssandra is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
Anyways, primal and I are going to use the advice doing the amended 24/7 for whenever other partners aren't there and via the phone when we are at work or apart for other reasons.
Seems like a good plan.

I don't mind 24/7 situations, but I am very against involving other people in those situations, when they have not consented to it. Could be other partners, but also other friends, etc.

We used to have an adjusted 24/7 situation for a bit, but I couldn't deal with it. It was too much giving of myself to someone else. It definitely was interesting though I'm not much of a submissive in general though, so that probably plays a big part...

Last edited by Ssandra; 06-17-2013 at 06:17 PM.
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