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  #41  
Old 06-14-2013, 06:44 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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I do not want to make this all about me, but it will sure seem so:

I do not pretend to "understand" autism. I do not pretend to "understand" cancer, either. That does not mean i am ignorant and uninformed. I do NOT appreciate being told that i must constantly adapt my choices of words based on the possibility that SOME special-interest group spokesperson might get their hot-buttons pushed. On this forum in particular, i have already been harassed and pushed to the point of losing my temper with one individual who took it upon themselves to speak for all "disabled" people and make an "example" out of me as Public Enemy Number One. I will not suffer that gladly a second time.

I don't come here and expect anyone else to change the way they write. I don't insist that Gala Girl stop typing in colors and flow charts and making up metaphors that give me a headache. So i skim over them or don't open them, depending on what the thread is about (i have them blocked but that's just so the pages load faster on the ipod) - what i DON'T do is say "Gala Girl, you obviously have a painfully limited idea of what it's like to be visually over-stimulated. You might want to exhibit some empathy and tone down your formatting and stop repeating the same thing four times in a row in the same post.". What if i went around doing that? What if i responded to everything i can't use with "you are not considering what it's like to be me". What if i started CORRECTING all the horrible spelling and poor grammar, and incorrect use of pronouns and parts of speech? Because that really triggers my Aspergers syndrome, you see, me being the left-brained verbally-oriented savant who thinks in rhyme most of the time. So you guys, i'm special too! I want you guys to change the way you do things for ME. Otherwise, you're creating a hostile environment, and that is a form of a personal attack, as well as just overall non-inclusiveness. I take no responsibility for the way i am because i was BORN like this. The mainstream, neurotypical world needs to wake up and start being sensitive to autistics and other mentally and neurologically marginalized people...

Oh cripes. For realz? No thanks.

I used to have a problem with the police. One of the reasons my spouse (who is a "de-escalation specialist" at a psych hospital - meaning they are the one who other direct care workers get to calm down the difficult patients) and i got married is because when the police came to the house, they would act like Spouse was an "outsider" because my family was what was giving me crap. Of course there are other reasons we got married too but that is the one that is relevant right now. Spouse is like a service-dog to me in a way - able to pick up on when i need them to step in and take control of a situation that is going poorly for me. Over the years, we have arranged our lives so as to minimize the police presence, but shit still comes up where i need that type of assistance. I have only met one other person in my life who was able to do this for me, it was a roommate in the early 1990's.

I have to go do some work now. I hope this makes you all understand me better. Now, any time anyone doesn't like what i said, i'm going to invoke the Aspie clause to shut them up. Is that okay, or not?

Oh, and don't get me wrong - i do not think Gala Girl is a bad person. Perhaps she IS - but i have not gotten to know her well enough to figure it out. That reference to GG up there was simply to give an example of how i deal with things that disturb my visual or cognitive experience. Nothing AT ALL in regards to the type of person she is. If anyone tries to give me crap on that aspect of it, i will not engage them.
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  #42  
Old 06-14-2013, 07:06 PM
london london is offline
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Quote:
I do NOT appreciate being told that i must constantly adapt my choices of words based on the possibility that SOME special-interest group spokesperson might get their hot-buttons pushed.
I'm genuinely sorry that you don't appreciate it.

Quote:
On this forum in particular, i have already been harassed and pushed to the point of losing my temper with one individual who took it upon themselves to speak for all "disabled" people and make an "example" out of me as Public Enemy Number One.
anger management, perhaps? Or just look at this when you feel angry inside at people on the Interwebz.

Quote:
The mainstream, neurotypical world needs to wake up and start being sensitive to autistics and other mentally and neurologically marginalized people...

Oh cripes. For realz? No thanks.
I'm sorry that my quest to get NT's to understand how they could embrace autism rather than simply tolerating it offends you.

Quote:
I hope this makes you all understand me better.
Yes.

Last edited by london; 06-14-2013 at 07:08 PM. Reason: link fail
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  #43  
Old 06-14-2013, 07:21 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Default Stop calling me "NT"

Quote:
I'm sorry that my quest to get NT's to understand how they could embrace autism rather than simply tolerating it offends you.
You don't sound sorry. You sound indignant and snarky. "i'm sorry you're offended." do you lack compassion as well as empathy toward OTHER PEOPLE with Asperger's Syndrome?

So basically, because i do not present, react, or conform to your idea of the way an autistic or aspie "should", you get to JUDGE me and declare my way of being WRONG? And you get to dictate to me what i must be FEELING because of that? I'll tell YOU how that feels. That makes me feel sick to my stomach.


And as to your "quest" - i've seen that before. I have observed that the moderators here do not find it appropriate to use this forum as a platform for "quests" or agendas, sometimes even ones that are on-topic, which this is not. My suggestion is that your "quest" may turn out to be counter-productive in some ways. But i don't care what you do. Just leave me alone.
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  #44  
Old 06-14-2013, 07:23 PM
DarkDuality DarkDuality is offline
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Guys come on, lets try to be civil and on topic here. I'm not attacking anyone, I'm just expressing feelings I'm having. Please, let's stay on topic.

Now, in regards to studies. As someone with Aspergers, I clearly rely on logic for most choices. So when I see these studies about it, it makes me feel like my way is proven to be wrong. So it feels like I'm being forced. If feel like when I do enter a relationship, and choose to not be poly, that it makes me bad, that I will be unhappy unless I choose it (even though I don't want to). I keep imagining finding a partner who I'm dating, and that the partner will want to be poly. I don't want poly because I just don't feel fulfilled or happier in a triad. I don't want to deal with extra people also.

I just want someone to tell me that it's ok. That it does not make me lesser or wrong in any way. Because the idea that got planted in my head is that my relationship will not be truly unless its poly, but I don't feel that way. In fact I never felt this way until that day (the verbal hurt about my way to love).
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  #45  
Old 06-14-2013, 07:28 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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We ARE telling you it's OK! That's what i did. I said "fuck 'em"! Then London the Autistic Awareness Police jumped down my throat and crawled out my ass!

You are ok! Nothing is wrong with you! Give yourself a break!

See London? The OP is not mad at me for saying that! It was what they WANTED to hear!
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  #46  
Old 06-14-2013, 08:17 PM
DarkDuality DarkDuality is offline
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That's all I needed to hear.
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  #47  
Old 06-14-2013, 09:17 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Needed. Needed to hear. I stand corrected.
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  #48  
Old 06-15-2013, 06:20 AM
london london is offline
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OP, recently there was a study where they reckoned that they proved that a dose of oxytocin seems to stop men in stable, monogamous relationships from cheating because these men who took oxytocin kept a larger physical distance from an attractive woman than those who didn't. Wow, right? Well the study was bullshit. On every level. Yes, they got those results but the rest of the study,ie how they went about it and how they picked people just invalidated the entire thing. It's so difficult to study relationships, there are so many different varieties etc. A study that claims to prove something like a particular relationship type is superior is more than likely flawed in it's methodology. That means the results aren't synonymous with logic at all.

Last edited by london; 06-15-2013 at 06:23 AM.
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