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Old 06-13-2013, 04:09 PM
CWC CWC is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Evansville, IN
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Default Commitment Ceremonies/Weddings

Hey all,

I found an old thread on this topic (2010ish), but haven't seen anything more recent.

My husband and I have proposed to our girlfriend of one year. (she said yes! ) We are in the midst of trying to plan a ceremony, but we have nothing. C (husband) wants something more traditional. He thinks it will make it more real for those in attendance. W (fiance) would prefer a getaway on a beach or something. I would prefer something somewhere in the middle.

Questions I have:
1. What kind of readings are recommended? (None of us are religious.)
2. What kinds of vows do you suggest?
3. Does anyone have any unique commitment traditions they would recommend?
4. What about appearance? (I know this one is silly, but what would they three of us wear? Do we have anybody stand with us as a wedding party?)

I'm really just fielding the internet for suggestions, so any help is appreciated!

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Old 06-13-2013, 04:15 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
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it's your relationship. do anything you want.
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Old 06-14-2013, 12:43 AM
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CreepingButtercup CreepingButtercup is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 3

Not experienced with poly, weddings, but might this help?

1) What's your budget? The traditional wedding isn't wallet friendly. Figure out what is reasonable to spend first, and then work around that.

2) What parts of a wedding matters most to everyone? Get from everyone a list of must-haves before deciding on style. For instance, someone might want to get their hair done all nice at a salon, which needs to be budgeted and accounted for in the overall tone of the wedding. If no one particularly cares for booze, that could go out the window to make room for more desired things. This might work a long way on compromise.

3) Is confirming that this is a relationship the only reason for a traditional wedding? It might be more beneficial to have the reception be causal and the ceremony be formal to get the best of both worlds(Or the opposite, I suppose). But consider making arrangements for time to change, a place to change, and possible travel between the two areas if there are two areas. Also make sure to know how to tell everyone clearly the plan for such if done.

4) Alternatively, figure out if any traditions come from one of the three sides that people want, or might help reinforce the idea of a stable, long term relationship. Something more personal might work then other traditions, unless you happen to be the sort of household to make new traditions.

5) Fancy up the invitations. If you need to reinforce what is going on, put it smack dab on the piece of paper and the save the date card.

6) Invite people from all three families. If they are confused, at least they can be confused together? Consider giving a reading to all three branches if possible.

7) I'd avoid having anyone stand up with you--People might get a little confused. In particular if you are wearing different styles of dresses to account for taste and different appearances. The exception MIGHT be the flower girl or the ring bearer--Some people (and the kids in question) really enjoy this and it's pretty easy to distinguish from the actual participants.
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:27 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,266

Did you use the Advanced Search function? There have been several threads much more recently than 2010 (though I am sure older threads would still have good info):

Handfasting. . . alternatives to traditional wedding. . .advice?

Trying to plan a Poly Commitment Ceremony

New Husband
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:46 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Haltom City, TX
Posts: 1,289

Originally Posted by CWC View Post
I'm really just fielding the internet for suggestions, so any help is appreciated!
Use the Google for any number of related searches and you will find hundreds if not thousands of websites.

"non-traditional wedding"
"non-religious wedding"
"secular wedding"
"poly wedding"

Give it a go, I'm sure you'll find a ton of easy access information... what with the internets and all.
Independent (Anarchist) Non-Monogamy

Me: male, 40, straight, single
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advice, commitment ceremony, relationships, traditions, wedding

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