Sharing your initial confusions and realizations
Hey all. I'm trying to figure out where I am and really what I want. If people don't mind sharing some of their early thoughts and debates when they began to wonder if polyamory was right for them. I'm especially interested in talking to people who were in long term relationships when they learned about polyamory and how you felt and reacted initially. Also, is anyone here choosing to stay in a monogamous relationship even though you feel like polyamory would be more you?
I'm married and I have been wondering if I am even built for this. It's funny that when we weren't married things seemed better. I'm sure I have other issues too, lol. I have these attractions and close friendships with male friends, not flirtatious at all. For example, a friend I can talk to about emotional issues when my husband isn't so good to talk to in that department (he's a fixer not a listener). I am aware some of these friends were or had been attracted to me in the past or present. I am perhaps overly cautious and careful not to cross any lines that I would consider flirting. Now, on the other hand, I can get jealous too. I consider myself extremely open with him, but he is not with me. When he hides things and I find out, it really bothers me. He does this less now, which is good. But, yeah I get jealous even if I ask for the information. I think that has more to do with my lack of self confidence more than anything. Anyway, these are some of my thoughts right now.