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  #11  
Old 06-10-2013, 01:35 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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I just feel hurt and even more hurt by the fact that usually she has had my back on every issue andthis time said nothing.
Maybe she too is being hurt at times you don't see. Maybe if she speaks up for you she gets hurt now. Maybe she's got to keep it all for herself to keep herself safe?

Could visit the middle of this page in general to see what "stage" you are in and tactics in particular here:

http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/u...nd-control.pdf

Take it to highlighter. You don't have to be beaten up to be abused. There's emotional, mental, and psychological abuse too. Just as hurtful. WORSE maybe because if you show up with broken bones or a black eye, other people will notice and possibly help. The bruises the other abuses leave on the INSIDES do not show as obviously. Be careful, stay safe.

You already tell about one sided stuff where he makes all the choices, minimizing your feelings, isolation, unable to leave, and emotionally unkind... could check it out and highlight the rest of it to help you see what you have there.

If you find that you need to make a safety plan and find somewhere to land and recover -- call shelters. Hopefully in a safe way -- maybe your friend can call information for you so the other people in the home aren't hearing you. Watch out for your computer access/computer time. Don't need anyone peeking at what you are researching. If you need to find Idaho specific pages, google it with "idaho" in there.

You may not be free to leave just like that -- not just because of money access or access to town being 60 min out but because leaving is the dangerous time. There's preventing you from leaving abuse and separation abuse once left. Sigh. I am sorry you are dealing in this. I encourage you to tap your county offices and get professional help. Don't worry about speaking up about your situation -- they've heard it all. And they will have the resources to help you get out and rebuild afterward. Still plan to LEAVE... but leave with a safety plan in place.

I am so sorry you are hurting like this.

You have every right to feel whatever it is you feel -- and feeling hurt when people do hurtful things to you -- that is NORMAL reaction.

You seem like you are listing the things that need to change for you to be able to leave. Could try expanding on that if it helps you sort out your thoughts. List the obstacles to your leaving, the pros/cons of staying and the pros/cons of leaving. Not make any decisions but just get the lay of the land? See what you have there? Just keep those notes hidden/online/secret so they aren't used against you.

Remember that you have worth, dignity, and value even if right now you are being poorly treated.

Namaste,
Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 06-10-2013 at 07:21 PM.
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  #12  
Old 06-10-2013, 02:45 PM
sterling119 sterling119 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Grand Blanc Michigan
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Default run now!!

You need to get out now while you can. Once you give them that baby it is only going to get worse. If your poly find a couple who will love and respect you for you and not just the fact that you can give them a child. Poly is about love and mutual respect for one another. Sex should be the topping to a nice relationship and we have found in our poly experience that there is actually quite a bit of it....lol. Do yourself a favor and get the hell out of there before your all sorry.
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  #13  
Old 06-10-2013, 05:08 PM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Do you have children? How old are you? Have you started looking into getting a job?
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  #14  
Old 06-10-2013, 05:32 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Location: Alaska
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Every state has women's shelters.
Leave.
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