Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 06-05-2013, 06:27 AM
mricha711 mricha711 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 12
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Now (read in your best Jewish mom voice) why aren't you dating your friends? Too many lesbian peeps? Too monogamous? All of your friends can't be lesbian monogamists! Go ask your lesbian peeps where their hot bro friends are. No sizzle with friends? Happens - I personally think the friend zone is a fine place to be. But getting to know someone deeply can move the sizzle needle. Almost all of my lovers or partners were friends first.
It's funny, because I have plenty of gay/bisexual guy friends, but none of them live in New Hampshire. It's inexplicable. I tend to get crushes on my straight guy friends, which is a problem itself. I've had crushes on a maybe a few girls over the years too, but never enough to want to initiate something more than friendship with them.

I'll definitely have to take you up on that longitudinal study
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-05-2013, 04:31 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,594
Default

Oh, you can't drive? Kinda kills the spontaneity even if you do find a person willing to date you who lives 12-15 miles away (your walking distance). Wanna go to a movie? Sure! See you in 3 hours!

How about a bicycle? You could then extend your non-carless distance to 25 miles!

Nah. Get a license and a car. Be willing to drive 30+ miles. To do that, you will need a job for gas $ as well.

I just moved to a different town in Mass to move in with my gf (who doesnt have a car, but she lived in Boston with plenty of buses, subways and taxis). And now we live near my bf too, 7 miles from him. I used to drive 20 miles to be with my gf (did that for 4 years), and my bf used to drive 20 miles in another direction to be with me. He did that for 17 months.

Coincidentally, a young man (24) I've been flirting with off and on, online, for a few years, got back in touch, asking me to come visit him in Providence RI, 50 miles away. Wanting me to drive to see him because he doesn't have a car! I just moved to be with my gf, and a 15 minute backroads drive from my bf, and this guy wants me to drive 50 miles highway for the privilege of being with him? I think not.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 06-05-2013, 05:01 PM
YouAreHere's Avatar
YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 808
Default

SoNH here too (cripes, how many of us are from the same region here?!) - you're gonna be landlocked forever if you don't get yourself a car (or at the very least, a bike).

I'm not poly myself, so I don't have much in the way of Poly resources for you. My partner spends time between here and RI so he's meeting up with people in the MA area to find some sort of Poly community. There is a Boston Poly community that he and his OSO have found, so if you can get yourself to a train station, that may be viable.

I do like BG's suggestion of NHRD. My coworker skates with them (just went from the Seabrook Meltdowns to the Manchester Cherry Bombs, I think), and it seems like such a fun time.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 06-05-2013, 07:54 PM
mricha711 mricha711 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 12
Default

Oh I definitely have a bike...I've biked for 10 hours to Massachusetts and back. It's just that I get exhausted when biking, especially with all the hills. It's not something I'd want to do all the time.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 06-08-2013, 08:50 PM
mricha711 mricha711 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 12
Default

Update: I'm going out to lunch tomorrow with some 51-year-old guy from Louisiana. He's the first person to even message me in 6 months. I guess good things happen to those who complain? (Not that I can be sure this is a good thing...lol.) Weird timing.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 06-09-2013, 01:40 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,211
Default

My advice for your date, and whenever you do make plans to meet someone, is to just let having fun be your goal. Don't date people with the goal of "auditioning" them to see if they are potentially "relationship material" or going to have a bigger role in your life. Relax and date just to meet people and get to know them, to do enjoyable things, and for the fun of it. Enjoy another human being's company and don't take it too seriously.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 06-09-2013, 04:32 AM
mricha711 mricha711 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 12
Default

Thanks for the suggestion...I've only been on one first date in my life, and it wasn't a very normal one, so I'm not sure exactly what to expect. But I mean, what's the worst that could happen, right?
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 06-09-2013, 04:49 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,294
Default

Here's my number one dating advice: listen to your instincts. If your instincts are telling you something is off, something is not right, get out. Don't worry about hurting their feelings, making a bad impression - just leave. Don't eat, drink or take anything that compromises your thinking or judgment.

If you don't have good instincts - and too many people grew up in families where they were not safe and never learned what that feels like - then don't do anything impulsive. Wait. Go on another date (and drawing things out can be hot as hell which is a nice side benefit).

You are a dude and so probably feel that not much bad can happen to you on a date. But it is possible. I've known several bi/gay men assaulted by dates or acquaintance or partners. Listen to your instincts. I hope you have a fab time.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 06-09-2013, 02:04 PM
mricha711 mricha711 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 12
Default

Nevermind, he just blew me off. No date, nothing to worry about. Oh, online dating.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
dating

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:32 AM.