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Old 01-24-2010, 05:25 PM
textkestrel textkestrel is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Peterborough, ON
Posts: 2
Default help with mono/poly relationship

I've know that I'm poly for over 9 years now. I foolishly got married and had a family thinking that my mono partner would eventually be open to allowing me to express my poly feelings. After suppressing my emotions for the past 9 years during our relationship I've finally separated from her and am living on my own now. Finally able to venture out and experience what life has to offer I find myself involved with another mono partner who is very jealous and possessive and not okay with my polyness. I've been upfront with her from the start about my poly feelings.

Here's where bad gets worse. She has a boyfriend who doesn't know that she is seeing me. She is not being exclusive to me but demands that I be exclusive to her. I've talked with 20 people about this and they all said to leave her alone and find someone better. On an intellectual level I completely agree, but my feelings for her are keeping me in this relationship even though I know it's not going to last very long or I am going to be stuck in another mono relationship and be miserable with myself.

I've started to become involved with another woman whom she hates and I get a lot of drama from her when I hang out with the other woman. I don't want to let her choose my friends for me, and I feel that if I let her choose for me this time it will be much easier to let her choose the next time the issue comes up. I'm not in love with the other woman, but if I stopped seeing her she would be crushed. I wish that I could just wave a magic wand and everything would work out. But right now I could really just use some good advice from the mono/poly folks out there....

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cheating, cheating and poly, monopoly, polymono, red flags

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