Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-28-2013, 06:18 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

I suppose you could say I'm the hinge in a couple of V's. Gia is dating me and Davis is dating me and Clay is dating me and none of them are dating each other.

One of partners, Davis, isn't seeing anyone else. While with Gia and Clay I feel perfectly comfortable mentioning my other partners in casual conversation, I find myself censoring myself now and then with Davis. I try not to do things like your example -- "I am going to see my parents" instead of a simple "we are going to see my parents". -- but I do still sometimes worry that thinking of my other partners will upset him, and so I still occasionally edit myself without really thinking about it.

The difference is that Davis doesn't WANT to know about my other partners if it's not relevant to him. He's not trying to pretend they don't exist, he just doesn't much care. If he was actively asking for info, or to hang with them, I would be all about it. Why would I try to hide the people that matter most to me, when instead I could have everyone I care about together and bask in their combined attention? But then, I'm an extrovert like that.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2013, 07:55 PM
littlegiggler littlegiggler is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Wales
Posts: 10

Personally, I found that interacting amounst the poly-family comes over time. You really need to be patient.

When I starting seeing my girlfriend, I really didn't understand Poly. I thought that I was an "add-on," like a dirty secret that everyone knew about, but over time I learnt that this wasn't the case and that her boyfriend saw me on the same level as himself (even though they have been together for a few years now and live together, this really blew me away!)

When I started dating my boyfriend, I went back to stage one again. Wanting to keep them separate and not mention either, even though they already knew each other. Over time, it was just a case of realising that neither were going to be possessive, or demand more attention.

6 months later and the 4 of us will hang out at the same parties and such. We are moving towards doing things like watching movies, just the 4 of us and I have an amazing dynamic with the Coyote! I think it just taking time, patients and also talking about how everyone feels!
Robin: Me, Early 20's, Pansexual, New to polyamory
Butterfly: My Rainbow of a Girlfriend
Deer: My Loving Boyfriend
Both about 6 month relationship
Coyote: Butterfly's Boyfriend
My Story
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 01:51 PM.