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Old 05-26-2013, 02:52 PM
Postalpagan Postalpagan is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Anderson, IN
Posts: 4
Default hello from Indiana

Hello, my name is Dave and I live in Indiana (but originally a Buckeye) with my wife Heather who is a Hoosier. We have tried poly in the past, but the problem is that she gets all the attention, but all I seem to attract are women seeking "the one". In my job as a postal carrier, I have met women with whom I have occasionally become friends, but how could I take it further (if she would be interested and available). I find that most women assume if you are interested in dating/relationship with them and are married that you are seeking a mistress or on the verge of divorce (nope). I hope to have good conversation here and especially get advice on how to proceed with this in a way that benefits both of us and how to meet women genuinely intersted in poly.
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Old 05-26-2013, 07:16 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,781

Hi Dave,
Welcome to our forum.

I always recommend coming out as poly right away during the dating process, or better yet even before then, while things are still platonic.

"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, http://polyamoryonline.org/smf/index...57394#msg57394
Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.

You can also search for poly groups in your area:


There are a few poly-friendly dating sites:


And we have a Dating & Friendships subforum you can explore (and post in).

Maybe some of the above will help ...
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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