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Old 05-25-2013, 02:37 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Default How do you tell someone else's kids?

I've spent a good while searching around and am not finding exactly what I am looking for. My 4yr old niece recently met Pixi. For those who haven't read our blogs, Pixi is my husband Karma's g/f of a few months. My brother and his wife have known and supported us in this adventure from day one three years ago. Originally we all decided that we wouldn't discuss it with the kids until they asked questions. At the time my niece was barely a yr old and my nephew wasn't even thought of yet so we had time.

We did fun touristy things while they were in town and obeying my brothers wishes, Karma and Pixi didn't have any PDAs while we were all together. My niece picked up on Pixi being an important part of lives anyway, which is great fine and wonderful. Except that right now she thinks Pixi is our maid. They had just watched The Help and somehow that's what her little 4 yr old mind equated with Pixi. Including asking if Pixi lived in our garage (we figured this out today after she watched it again and said "See mommy they live in the garage.")

After laughing for quite awhile my sister in law said that they are obviously going to have to talk with her, especially because we are moving closer and Pixi will inevitably be spending more time with them. We've all agreed from day one to be honest and never lie to the kids about our difference in religion (they are very christian and we are pagan) or about poly. She wants to sit down as a family to discuss it with my niece, so that she sees that we are all on the same page.

I obviously plan on letting them take the lead as she is their daughter. But their only experience with poly is us. As I said they are very christian and while they love and support us, to them our way of life is 'technically' wrong. They won't, I have no doubt, approach it from a wrong or hate kind of direction. But none of us are exactly sure how to go about explaining things.

So how do you explain poly to a 4yr old that isn't yours, but is a huge part of your life? Do we just say Uncle Karma loves two people, and see if she has questions? How deep do we go with the answers to those questions.

I guess my biggest worry is that we want her to grow up open minded and accepting of people who live differently than her, but we (I) also don't want to contradict the religion she is being raised in and cause her inner turmoil long before she's really old enough to grasp it.

Not having children of my own, but holding a degree in early childhood education, I am aware that an honest straightforward answer is best. What I'm not sure of is how much is too much info at that age?

Any advice, anecdotes, ideas will be greatly appreciated as this new territory for all of us.
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