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  #31  
Old 05-22-2013, 09:21 PM
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And in case the point was lost, I was illustrating that my example, while it could look like the golden rule on the surface, really isn't.

I feel like I'm not coming across well, but I agree with you, NYC - that's the intent of the rule. I'm just illustrating the confusion some people have. A little TOO well, I'm afraid!
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  #32  
Old 05-22-2013, 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted by YouAreHere View Post
And in case the point was lost, I was illustrating that my example, while it could look like the golden rule on the surface, really isn't.

I feel like I'm not coming across well, but I agree with you, NYC - that's the intent of the rule. I'm just illustrating the confusion some people have. A little TOO well, I'm afraid!
I got what you meant the first time.
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  #33  
Old 05-23-2013, 02:06 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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I'm inventing the Titanium Kryptonite Rule that says i dictate everything, including the food you eat and the brand of toilet paper you wipe your ass with, as well as whether the roll is toward the front or the back of the thing... I am afraid i don't remember the names for everything. I've been trying to study the vocabulary but the conservatives are messing up the databases and putting false facts in where people will look to confirm who said it first.

Franklin veaux must not be allowed to continue getting away with these things.
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  #34  
Old 05-23-2013, 03:31 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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The Golden Rule is not an injunction to impose one’s will on someone else!
I understand it fine, nycindie. That was the whole point I was trying to make, though probably not as cleanly as I could.

"Platinum" is just derived from Golden Rule just like "Silver rule" is the "negative" side of Golden Rule. It's all part of the whole Golden Rule package. But the bottom line for me? I find that as a parent, when teaching my kid that stuff, it's a whole lot easier to get to the point and teach the kid "platinum rule" kinds of words.

What does a kid know but to take things very, very literally? I have encountered some adults are that way also -- very, very literal.

So I find it saves trouble all around to just leave no room (or as little room possible) for misunderstanding. Just spit it out from the get go. "Treat others how they want to be treated" as a little maxim idea I find useful.

It could encourage approaching and asking the person -- "How do you want me to treat you? I'd like to be treated like this. Could we talk about that and get to know each others preferences?"

Couldn't trying that approach help the OP become more assertive about stating their needs?

If I ask the other guy how he'd like to be treated first, then explain some things I need as examples, it makes the other guy more agreeable to engaging in larger conversation with me about negotiating needs for all. Better than if I were to come at the other guy all bossyboots with "I need ____" kinds of laundry lists that could be misread as "demands" and get them on the defensive.

It's only a suggestion for the wording in the end -- others are free to use whatever phrasing serves them best when relating/negotiating with the people personalities they are dealing with in RL.

GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 05-23-2013 at 03:54 AM.
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  #35  
Old 05-23-2013, 05:01 AM
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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
I understand it fine, nycindie. That was the whole point I was trying to make, though probably not as cleanly as I could.

"Platinum" is just derived from Golden Rule just like "Silver rule" is the "negative" side of Golden Rule. It's all part of the whole Golden Rule package. But the bottom line for me? I find that as a parent, when teaching my kid that stuff, it's a whole lot easier to get to the point and teach the kid "platinum rule" kinds of words.

What does a kid know but to take things very, very literally? I have encountered some adults are that way also -- very, very literal.

So I find it saves trouble all around to just leave no room (or as little room possible) for misunderstanding.
Yes, we can all wiki and google those terms and find out that "platinum rule" and "silver rule" were made up by people who didn't understand the Golden Rule, which has been around for ages (having been derived from a Bible verse), or authors who wanted to make a buck by selling books to people who didn't understand the Golden Rule. Using those silly terms doesn't make it more clear. Yes, kids are literal creatures, but how come I and a zillion other people always knew what the Golden Rule meant? You want to be treated nicely, treat others nicely - hello! What's so complicated about that? Adding platinum, silver, copper, tin, or whatever else other rules you want just takes people further away from the nugget of its message. This is what is known as "dumbing down," and then we have people saying things like, "Why would I serve my lover eggs the way I like them instead of the way he likes them? I'll go platinum and fix the eggs his way." Eventually people just start making up and using nonsense words and terms instead of investigating the actual meanings of the ones that confuse them. That is as bad as using verbs as adjectives and adjectives as verbs, just to look clever.
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Last edited by nycindie; 05-23-2013 at 05:04 AM.
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  #36  
Old 05-23-2013, 05:34 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Yes, we can all wiki and google those te
No, a lot of people can't wiki and google because their fingers can't do the walking and their brains don't work right.

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eople just start making up and using nonsense words and terms instead of investigating the actual meanings of the ones that confuse them. That is as bad as using verbs as adjectives and adjectives as verbs, just to look clever.

Case in point: "trinogamous"

Last edited by BoringGuy; 05-23-2013 at 05:38 AM.
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  #37  
Old 05-24-2013, 07:21 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Yes, kids are literal creatures, but how come I and a zillion other people always knew what the Golden Rule meant?
Because you (and the zillion other people) are at a different place in your six maturities. And not everyone is at the same place at the same time.

Adults might all look "adult" from their outsides but not everyone develops in all their maturities at the same rate. Chronological and physical maturities are the only ones that come "automatic" at the same rate for everyone. Every birthday clocked leads to automatic growth in those. Intellectual, emotional, social, and philosophical maturities have to be worked at to grow.

I'm with BG -- not everyone knows how. They come here for support and who knows how old the other person is on the other side, their background, personality, education level, culture, native language, environment etc. are/have been.

I'm not trying to dumb anything down -- I'm trying to find common ground and common language. If I get too corny sometimes doing that... ah, well. I enjoy corny humor at times and sometimes it falls flat. *shrug*

Again, I'm not trying to argue. YMMV -- I find thinking of things that way as helpful to me. Some won't find that approach useful. C'est la vie.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 05-24-2013 at 07:30 PM.
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  #38  
Old 05-24-2013, 07:55 PM
Ssandra Ssandra is offline
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Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
Because you (and the zillion other people) are at a different place in your six maturities. And not everyone is at the same place at the same time.

Adults might all look "adult" from their outsides but not everyone develops in all their maturities at the same rate. Chronological and physical maturities are the only ones that come "automatic" at the same rate for everyone. Every birthday clocked leads to automatic growth in those. Intellectual, emotional, social, and philosophical maturities have to be worked at to grow.

I'm with BG -- not everyone knows how. They come here for support and who knows how old the other person is on the other side, their background, personality, education level, culture, native language, environment etc. are/have been.

I'm not trying to dumb anything down -- I'm trying to find common ground and common language. If I get too corny sometimes doing that... ah, well. I enjoy corny humor at times and sometimes it falls flat. *shrug*

Again, I'm not trying to argue. YMMV -- I find thinking of things that way as helpful to me. Some won't find that approach useful. C'est la vie.

Galagirl
I agree with you. If you take for example my parents; both well in their fifties, successful business people both, not stupid in general. Yet when it comes to "the golden rule" they have a very literal view point. If they like it, everybody should like it. If they find something weird, it IS weird.

They feel that because they appreciate it when people ask for help, they always say yes, everybody should feel that way. Personally, I feel much more comfortable asking for help when I know people feel free to say no as well.

Because they want to be successful in business, everybody should want to want to be successful in business.

Golden rule doesn't work for them. Although, platinum rule wouldn't work either, because they refuse to conceive of the notion that other people might want other things, or find other things important...
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