Polyamory as an excuse?
First off, if any of my questions are not appropriate or not within the focus of this community (i.e. more for a counselor than a bunch of strangers on the internet) I apologize and feel free to move on.
My wife just told me she's been having an affair for a while with another man. She blames this on needing to find something that's been lacking in our relationship. She want to be able to continue seeing this person and move our relationship into polyamory.
Here's my concern: I told her that with some time I may consider an open marriage to a degree, but that I'm not comfortable with the person she's with. She says that she doesn't want to be with anyone else besides him (and me). Is she just using polyamory and the concept of an open marriage as a tool to enable her to stay with this person and not destroy our family? I feel as if she's not really interested in polyamory if she can't have this one particular individual.
Thanks for any advice. I do respect the concept and I respect those living it for being able to overcome the things that I'm struggling with.